普普通通

流光岁月

2012-01-28T19:08:00.007-05:00

昨天有几个小学六年级同学在Facebook加我，十三年前的朋友，也不算是同班同学，突然发现时间过得好快好快，早已模糊的印象更加无法和他们现在的样貌重叠在一起。

而同时间，90后的小孩也已经在大学肆无忌惮地蹦蹦跳了。

记得中学时偶尔会倚靠在三楼的栏杆看向绿油油的操场，始终无法想像自己未来上大学、工作的样子。

现在，仍然无法相信自己离当年的理想只有五年的距离。这个学期的第一个星期里，教授讲解的课程大纲都让我自我感觉非常非常良好。:P 感觉会把该学到的发挥的淋漓尽致，感觉真的选对行业了！当年的我，好像变了，也好像没变。

相遇是种缘份，缘起缘灭亦是寻常。不论是十三年前我曾到他们班上客串上补习班六个月的同学，还是现在遇到在IUP只逗留两个学期的朋友，都留下了岁月的痕迹。

也有些人，像是上辈子就认识了似的，完全不受认识时间和年龄差距的局限。无论你们在哪里，就算甚少联络，感情仍在。

不管金牛座爱计算的我如何计算，朋友这东西永远在预算以外。

虽然很学校很会选日子地在农历正月初一开学，仍然很high地和一班朋友在年二八到West Virginia找倩文拜早年。老外为倩文的邻居，带我们到森林里开枪打靶。龙年行大运~~

2011年的最后两个星期

2011-12-30T17:24:00.003-05:00

世界很大，也很小。在Pennsylvania 的我，West Virginia的倩文，Texas的Suzanne, Michigan 的Siew Li，相约和在纽约的Chi Sum 和Kaleena 聚会，来一场不同届，不同program，却同是HELP Psychology 学生的gathering!

来到纽约，没有节目时，有将近一半的时间花在睡眠，凌晨两三点睡到中午一两点，完全没有来纽约游玩的自觉。:P

到波斯顿玩了两天，也参观了鼎鼎有名的哈佛大学等等。2011年，我回到了亲爱的家园，走了神州的一小部分，跑到了堪比Bemidji大一点点的Indiana，又是相当丰收的一年。

2012，前方等待我们的，是一帆风顺，还是偶然惊喜，我拭目以待！

Patience

2011-12-11T22:49:00.003-05:00

Be patient. Calm down. That's what I tell myself when the nerves tick once a while. By the way, who likes taking tests?

Test = A bunch of rote memorization and reprinting during test.

Of course, it more than rote memorization and it's merely academic tests. Tests in real setting are harder, and have no more room for mistakes.

So, suck it up and swallow it down!

-----------------
5 years from now, when you (I) read this post, I know you will say:

"See! Those tests were much easier than what I'm having now. Now, I bear with so much more responsibilities and fragilities."

And I know you will say this too: "Thank you. And I'm very proud of you for making the hard work paid off today."

-----------------

The exam week officially begins tomorrow. And the party shall start five days from now. :)

我要跳舞~~

2011-11-29T21:43:00.007-05:00

Ehem... 低调点低调点。总是学不乖的家伙。。

过完了一个星期的Thanksgiving短假，又回到了课业。大部分的功课已在放假前堆积完毕，剩下还算可以应付的作业和考试。

经过可怜巴巴的努力，终于让我把信心追回来。刚刚派回来的评估报告分数不错哦~嘻嘻！虽然是有点玩臭，之前在HELP已经拿过同一科目了，可是格式还是有少许的变化。而我觉得教授的确是仁慈了。

不过，

还是很值得开心庆祝的~跳舞！！跳我的sotong舞~！！wulala~~

假期去玩了三天，倩文很有意思的又来找我玩！有老朋友在附近真好啊！出门靠朋友是没错的！ :)

Pennsylvania宾州（不是槟州）的州议会厅。百多年历史了，用金碧辉煌来形容有过之而不及，里面不是金就是罕见的大理石，到处可见像中间那幅画人手画的巨型画作，而且是女画家哦！在那时候女性是几乎不可能有出头天的。。帅啊！

Hershey镇里的古董车博物馆。没错，就是巧克力Hershey的故乡！

休息个两三天又得冲刺了！这一个短假增加了半公斤的重量，我果然是饭桶啊！对白米饭完全没有抵抗力！

holiday~

2011-11-18T23:31:00.003-05:00

My 1-week Thanksgiving break started last night, when the last class of the work ended before noon. A wonderful and blissful break to be away from classes, assignments, quizzes, exams, etc.

For some weird reasons, I was doing a reading last night. And doing it again tonight. :(

Qian Wen is visiting tomorrow and we'll be going on a 3-day road trip in 2 cars on Tuesday next week. So, this is a good reason why I had been studying when the break has just started. So I can go have FUN~ n_n (was doing an unsuccessful attempt to convince that I'm not a nerd)

Things I'm grateful about:

-My mom & brother are happy and healthy as usual

-Being healthy

-Getting into this program and keeping myself alive in it

-Receiving wonderful support in doing what I've always been wanted

-Keeping good friends and having new friends who I can depend on (despite the fact that I'm still doing badly in keeping contact with people...)

-This short break that will be very essential to restore my already limited energy & brain cells

Oh yes, I have readings and work in my to-do list for the next 2 days. Is this still a break?????

Bak kut teh steamboat tomorrow!! Qian Wen is bringing fish balls, sotong, and many more into this kampung place (slightly less kampung than Bemidji) tomorrow!

Year 2011 is coming to an end in less than 50 days. For you, who have been reading this blog since don't know when, I love you. Thank you for your support, concerns and love all this while. Life is full of surprises. I'm thankful with everything and anything. Wish you well and all the best with the rest of 2011 and many years ahead. :)

Kopi

2011-11-07T17:03:00.005-05:00

Sometimes, I feel I'm probably overly mature for my age - has difficulty finding the pleasure in soft drinks, desserts, partying, extreme sports, shopping, drama series, yada yada yada.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm just hasn't grown up - e.g., has difficulty sharing the similar judgement of appearance (god knows how many times people have asked if I combed my hair when I actually did!!). So, whatever mentioned earlier may as well be explained by I'm simply not grown up! Or refuse to grow up... :P

And today, I felt I grown up a little and had more feel as a graduate student because I bought myself a cup of coffee, like many students who do it everyday, to drink during the break to keep myself awake. Did it work? I'm not too sure. I took half an hour nap in the library after that. And, I napped without an alarm clock with me, with an appointment with professor like 1 hour later. :P

Coffee doesn't taste good, I think. At least kids will agree with me. And I don't like the taste. I guess it worked on me - I didn't sleep in the class. BUT, the caffeine effects are horrible. I get slightly irritable, agitated and headaches.

Why coffee then? Because almost everyone drinks! And it has been claimed to work, for most of the times. And when you drink it, you're an adult!! Oh yeah, a very sound logic! :)

No matter what, kopi is in no way comparable to nasi!!

Nasi and the supporting roles! Me cooked the veggie soup and stir fried veggie.

By the way, just so you're jealous, I've come to the lightest weight I ever recorded since February 2011. Weight loss of 1600g (aka 1.6kg, aka 3.527395962lbs) after being here for almost 3 months.

The side effects of technology

2011-10-30T21:03:00.002-04:00

Despite using a cute little tiger toy as my wrist rest, I started to experience minor numbness on my right little finger last night after spending too much time (I think) on the mouse reading the notes on my computer. I can't be on the mouse on the table too long with my right hand or the numbness will come back like 20 minutes after.

I guess it's a compliment to get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome-like symptoms? As it suggests that I've been studying too hard. :P I don't think I was on it for that long of period without moving.

The side effect of washing our fabulous invention of phone is that I'm not even to sms Hong Yun, the fei zai for his birthday. I'm sure I woke him up with my 20-second call just now.

Happy 21 birthday!! Our family no longer has kids jumping around!! All kidults now! n_n

下雪了

2011-10-29T16:26:00.002-04:00

早上起下了今年的第一场雪。看着窗外飘着的雪花，感觉很微妙，像遇见久别重逢的老友，让我想起了Bemidji和一班朋友的美好时光。

有一年半没看到雪花了，都差点忘了下雪的场景。

去年的此时，我身在的马来西亚不下雪；眼前，我身处在的美国，正不停地下着雪。又一个强而有力的环境证据，提醒我人在异地。

雪，还在下。屋顶上，树上，车上，石级上，都铺上了一层薄薄的白雪。

冬之女神，到了。

而我，坐在暖暖的房间里吃一碗热腾腾的八珍汤面线。

不去想起早上被我丢进洗衣机洗了25分钟的手机，也不去想星期一和星期四还没准备完的考试。

返璞归真

2011-10-24T23:01:00.002-04:00

武林里一直流传着一套神秘的武功，欲练此功者必须有绝大的勇气，抱着置于死地而后生的气魄才能练成的绝世武功。

葵花宝典？

No no.

因为非常神秘，原名已经没有人记得了（其实是我想不起来了。。）。

由于需要非常的勇气和气魄，名字已经不再重要了。

当武功练到某个瓶颈无法突破时，也只有高手中的高手才能突破自己，习练此功。可是，初学者往往比前辈更具优势。

首先，习者需自废武功（武功被人废掉也可以），从零开始，从无到有，由基础功练起。意欲让习者化整为零，重造习者的修为。

试问，无论武功高低，又有谁舍得自废武功？武功被废如同经脉全断，还哪来的决心重新练起？

非常幸运的，此等千载难逢的荣誉被小女子我遇上了！而且是第二次遇上哦！

看着一条条的经脉慢慢地被挑断，一根根的骨头“咔嚓咔嚓”地生生被折断，惨不忍睹，偏偏力不从心，连内力也所剩无几。。

好啦，我承认还没到这么糟的地步，夸张修辞法还是有那么一点的。

只是在平时使轻功飞檐走壁惯了，连几次摔在泥潭里，感觉是既错愕又挫折。

没事！置之于死地而后生，慢慢重新爬起，再从泥潭里走出去。

返璞归真，应该是叫化整为零更贴切吧。

活该！

2011-10-19T22:17:00.000-04:00

不孝女想家了。想她的妈咪了！

星期一的早上还梦见身在可爱美丽的家里，却被不解风情的闹钟敲醒，爬起来去上八点钟的课。上天啊，秋天的早晨天尚未全亮，迎着透骨的晨风独自踏在寂静的校园路。

仿佛，从天堂被赶下人间。

想念妈咪每天早上不辞劳苦摸黑起早为我们准备的营养早餐。我只需要伸手拿叉叉在剥好皮切片好的水果上，张嘴就能吃。不会有黄梨，酸葡萄酸苹果酸橙子也不会有我的份。

想念妈咪煮的家常饭菜，然后和肥仔一起坐在饭桌上闲话家常。

想念妈咪亲手熨烫出来的衣服，光滑整齐，清香的洗衣液味道参杂着妈妈的味道，混合为其他地方找不到的家的味道。

想念和妈咪手牵手，粘在她身上一起逛街的感觉。

想念从早上开始就对妈咪碎碎念唠唠叨叨不厌其烦地疲劳轰炸。

想念和妈咪双剑合璧联手合攻肥仔的成就感。

。。。。。

天堂，原来，已经住过了。

功课很多要看、要做、要背、要考、要交，活该！

肉骨趴

2011-10-08T13:11:00.000-04:00

如题。

等了好几天，终于盼到了星期五煮肉骨茶。味道有点差异，可是在场的所有人，除我以外，都是第一次吃，所以再次坚定了我很会煮饭的光环。hiak hiak hiak...

看起来还是很不错的。中国人、台湾人、日本人都很爱吃！我根本没机会喝汤。。。

桌上的食物是用来喂十九张口的。

左起：生菜，Tina食堂换来的面包，肉骨茶，酱油蒜米佐料，两盘筱茵炒的青椒牛肉丝（人家才是名副其实的大厨），Walmart买的烤鸡，炒生菜。铁罐里是Tina和Michelle弄的蒸蛋。

桌上的食物连同十四杯米（相等于供约二十八人份的白饭）在短短一小时内人间消失。其中的嫌疑犯被拍下留证。

@.@

2011-10-01T02:51:00.000-04:00

Staying up this late to study for exams is just insanely crazy. Just have to do this so that I will be able to attend the IUP Homecoming Parade and Homecoming Football Match.

And I'll be spending half the day working on Sunday. Who knows what will happen to my exams on Monday. :P

Besides studying hard, I'm also learning hard to sit back and chill. It's going to be a very 'interesting' weekend!!

我的咖喱趴

2011-09-24T01:41:00.000-04:00

（左到右，上至下）

Walmart 买的整只烧鸡被Michelle 肢解成鸡肉丝，可是还是很好吃。

琪玮弄的上海式番茄炒蛋。

筱茵炒的蚝油炒包菜。

当然也不能忽略了主菜，也是我做的---猪肉青咖喱和蔬菜咖喱！！

这一顿丰盛的晚餐集合了好几人的手艺，结果十三个女生用“蝗虫过境”（Tina的描述）的速度解决了饭锅里的五杯饭，后来还加煮了两杯，同样在短短两分钟内被消灭掉了。。

今天这一顿超开心的！n_n

把食物清光后拍下的胜利照！

看到我手中的空饭锅吗？很满足开心的一天！！

我这个廖化变成了大厨，Olivia（也就是‘咖喱趴’的版权拥有人）还直接毫不客气地公然点下星期的菜，其他人在聊起了火锅后理所当然问我：那我们火锅几时可以吃？

这班人敢情是直接把我当成厨娘了？

葡萄成熟时

2011-09-23T02:00:00.005-04:00

月份尚未到你也得接受，即使失守也得守。

人生总少不了追求。其中的烦恼的包括事情不尽如人愿。苦心经营，却不能在预期的时间里收割，看着时间一分一秒的流失，身边人事物的变迁，有时可能会很急。可是再急，也得耐下心来等候时机成熟时。

爱投机取巧的我时刻提醒自己，目标明确是没错。可是过程中付出相当的努力才可能换来预期中的美好。

所以，再怎么惰性难改，爱玩弄小聪明，也得老老实实的踏出每一步。认真对待现在的课业，才能在日后任重而道远。

尤其是不可能吃酸葡萄的我，一定要静候葡萄成熟时。

如果你也正在奋斗争取中，我们一起坚持守到收成时吧！！

咖哩趴

2011-09-22T01:17:00.004-04:00

有一天，可怜的我想起了香喷喷的咖喱淋在热腾腾的白米饭上的幸福。于是便有了亲自下厨，宴请十五位朋友的计划。

所谓计划赶不上变化，如下应该是经典的：

某人在Facebook 的 Group 里写道：

“請要去咖哩趴的同伴

明天上課時，請先帶5元給我，謝謝!!!

有多的會還給大家，

只要是讓巧瞳大廚可以有錢先去備料!!!”

结果，我神圣的咖喱白米饭变成了咖哩趴！！！

~~~深深地无语中~~~

咖哩趴咖哩趴咖哩趴

很有创意的家伙！！我想象到的是一堆咖喱在Party！！或者就是一堆人围着咖喱听着强劲的音乐在跳舞。

Holiday is over

2011-09-20T19:45:00.002-04:00

I finally come to realize that my holiday is over. OVER.

It was my first time studying in the library, when many graduate students I know have started that since the first 2 weeks of class.

I only realized that it's time to turn on the top gear for school this morning. Not too late still, right? :P

Well. Back to my beloved books. I still can't get over with the fact that I didn't nap, but spent my entire afternoon in assignments. Very upsetting.

You better watch out, the nerd is coming to town. It's going to be a FUN FUN FUN time~!

Regarding Sense of Fashion

2011-09-18T20:40:00.004-04:00

1) Why would someone bother putting up make-ups early in the morning when they only take an approximately 10-minute walk from the dorm to campus's dining hall for breakfast.

2) Ok, fine. Assume they are going somewhere else after breakfast. Why would someone use a BRIGHT RED lipstick early in the morning? (A Sunday 12pm is quite early, though I had already started to work for an hour). I think I will assume she's going for a performance on stage. - her lipstick color is as bright as, err, a bright red spotlight? I thought she was going to act as a ghost in a movie somewhere after the breakfast.

I thought Japanese should have quite a good sense of fashion. Or they probably just looked and spoke like Japanese. The girl with the red lipstick beat her friend flat, making her friend's make-ups more presentable than hers.

Ehem... It takes some practice to be able to smile and serve professionally at the counter while looking at the incredibly amusing faces. Need some training on that? You may call 1-800-YCT for details.

WHY????? I still couldn't understand the bright red lipstick part. Was it just me, or there really are someone with worse sense of fashion than I am?

Bright red lipstick? Seriously. Wait! That reminds me of the lipstick on the movie 'Geisha'!! Exactly the same 'Geisha' lipstick color.

This is not a smart way to wake me up at work in a Sunday morning. BRIGHT RED. -___-"

千里共婵娟

2011-09-12T22:10:00.002-04:00

中秋，总会想起家人。愿远方的你们安好。

中秋，想起在天那一边的公公。你好吗？还记得我吗？要看着我继续长大哦！

雨天~

2011-09-06T21:37:00.002-04:00

这里的天气很爱下雨。撑着雨伞走在柏油路上时突然不停地重复着Beyond《喜欢你》的副歌。这首歌很适合在雨天里唱。然后我就越唱越开心。。。

我从来不是Beyond迷。刚才打开来听时才发觉我很厉害，可以把这么凄凉的歌唱得这么开心。嘻。。没办法啦，我只会副歌。

下雨天，谁不爱呀？（Ok啦，真的不是人人都爱。）

first day of school

2011-08-29T16:50:00.003-04:00

After a very long anxious post of how bad my school could be, it turned out: not that bad! :)

Let me tell you why. Check out my pendrive given by our department.

How can one still feel bad after receiving a personalized (in a small sealed bag with my name on it) pendrive with the above words engraved onto it?

Classy, isn't it???!!!

I'm BAD!! Very bad!! :P But I just can't stop looking at it and be so excited about it! It is glamorous. Some of these are good, to help our way through this lengthy 5-year program. (Remember I said I don't take photos, here you go. My first photo taken is this nice cute little pendrive!) n_n

So yeah! I'm happy with my first day of class. Glad to be back into the academic world after some months of break. Though still found myself dozing a little (just a little) in the class, as usual. I need to greatly improve my extremely short attention spam and energy level.

It was just a 1.15 hr. class!!! But I was checking on my watch if I could get a short break in between. YCT YCT... I seriously wonder how did I survive classes all these years! Very disrespectful, but I just can't help it! And I'm strongly oppose of caffeine in my body, unless extremely necessary.

Please do allow me to brag a little more.... Thanks!

The Prof. in my second class looks/sounds familiar to me until I finally realized that she's the author of our textbooks for the class!! I hope she doesn't fail me for not noticing these earlier - 1) not remembering course instructor's name and 2) not aware what book I'm getting. Also, I think I might have seen her in one of our APA therapy session videos in class back at HELP. By the way, she'll also be my mentor!!

So... Make me even happier to be here in this place, in this program, with these faculty and coursemates!

I really shouldn't be so realistic, should I? Don't kick me!

Anyways, below is the nice view outside of our dorm window. Yes, our. I have a room mate, remember? We get along pretty well. At least that's how I feel it. I'm not sure how you would feel when your room mate sleeps early most of the nights when you were just about to shower or to blow your hair. :) Not sure if I still get to sleep this early when the rock n' roll begins!

It's a small park in the center of my dorm - Wallwork Hall. About 12 minutes walk to my department building and this is really awesome especially when you hear your coursemates discussing about parking issues. *evil grin* Cheaper rent off-campus but with some extra hassles to bother about. I'm still considering between on- and off- campus housing though.

So I can cook R-I-C-E. I had 2 slices of pizza for lunch and I still feel full. I think I'm going to lose weight here.

I gained weight in Bemidji in the very first semester. Mostly thank to YJi for feeding us like a PIG with rice. I'm very grateful of that! The rice part. :)

push push push, and push

2011-08-27T17:58:00.006-04:00

Though this is no longer my first time coming to US to study, this is my very first time reporting my self to a foreign place for school. Working as a lone ranger all the way from KLIA to Dubai International Airport to Pittsburgh wasn't so bad. Ok, ignore the alarm clock part. At least I wasn't sick on the journey!! :P

Orientation went well, too. Met many new people from China, Taiwan, Madagascar (isn't this cool??), Japan, Iran, Thailand, Peru, Saudi Arabia, Germany etc. It is somehow easier to get around and meet new people as I am on my own.

I told myself second day of the orientation to go know new people every day every activity. Almost there. Doing quite well so far. We talked about our countries, food, weather, major, or anything we could grab in the air. A little awkward, but it's typical. I probably give myself a 80% for that.

80% for the international students orientation.

BUT 10% for my program orientation.

Oh yes. 10%, seriously.

The get-to-know session was HORRIBLE!!!! Just for me, I'm sure. As predicted, I'm the only Asian in the 15-student class. I have to admit that ME and stereotypical AMERICANS don't clique. TOTALLY different frequency!! TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY!!

Yes, call me bias. =___=" I just can't blend into their topics and life. This is my most anxious part of doing practicum in US. I should go counselling for this.

For this Miss Yong right here, no American books, dramas, movies (very few), music, sports, food, entertainment gossip, bla bla bla....

I-JUST-DON'T-GET-IT

So during the program BBQ picnic dinner, I was holding my cup of drink and stand in the circle (just like everyone did) --- and listening. I was good at introducing myself upfront and that's all. Talked a little, but was a human-like statue after.

Difficult. Too difficult for me. I already knew this but it's still unbelievable to see me as a timid, soft-spoken person in that place with a bunch of AMERICANS.

ARGH...........................................

BIAS, I AM.

NO. There is something in me that I just cannot let go and I just want to be myself!! Can't fit in. I surrender.

Well... As I'm here to do my 5-year program, I think I can bear with superficial socialization here with this bunch of coursemates.

No, really. I am way too Asian/Malaysian/Chinese for them. And this is why staying in US for good is never one of my first choices.

I just came back from an event called "Play Fair". The newsletter said you don't want to miss this and so I went, with another 4 Japanese friends. It was apparently an orientation/ice breaker for freshmen with really L-A-M-E ice breaking games.

Ok. I re-phrase. Lame for my age. I think I would be more comfortable if they weren't all AMERICANS (see, again. haha).

Not just me. The rest of the Japanese and I left half way. The moment they started the game I had this strong compulsive feeling of leaving.

Another voice tells me 'stay, just stay. Experience the American culture, push beyond your comfort zone, you were once orientation mentor and you'll soon be a psychologist. Stay a little longer, until the end...'

I GAVE UP. Can't bear it any longer. It was simply stupid, lame, and nuts. And I know I will probably not see them again or remember their names, and vice versa. Apparently there were Americans leaving too! A small consolation to this poor Asian soul.

Functionally and formally, I can deal with Americans. Maybe not socially. I skipped the bar session yesterday after the picnic. Wise decision made, I'd say. :)

HOWEVER, I said yes to my Japanese friend when he invited me to their party tonight. Oh well, I haven't told them the fact that I'm allergic to alcohol. :P

It's just so much more comfortable to hang around with international students who are less 'Americanized'. Of course there are students who could blend in real well here. I think they're great! But I just can't clique with that.

Well... Enough of rambling and description of presenting problem. Getting down to the root is what is my operational definition of being 'American'.

Hmm.... Let me try this:

-(I thought for 20 seconds and I really can't do this)

To me, it feels simply dumb and stupid. I just can't chat with these people. Intellectual talk (ok lah, it's just discussions about class or course or assignments), yes. No chatting. I can't do social chatting thing with them. I feel stupid in this. It simply plunges my self-esteem (as an outgoing, loud-spoken, talkative, hyper energetic person) into negative figure.

Well well... 1 more day before class starts. I will keep pushing my nice little zone and try not to pull out too soon. Let's see how it goes.

* My Canon digital camera has no use until now. No urge at all to take any photos. Forgive this aged soul right here of her outdated-old school mind.

------------

I think my previous and first time in the US strengthens my identity as a person, so strong that I reject the rest. I would be very happy to talk about weather, food, psychology, philosophy, religion, politics, history, anything.

BUT not American books, dramas, movies, music, sports, entertainment gossip, fashion, etc. I can't even imagine myself try learning these to fit in. Maybe a little, but I don't see myself much in these.

It's simply not YCT!!! And I'm called CTY here, or CY.

A nice chat means you can chat with someone non-stop for hours, and there's no worry about running out of topics. Only worries are of running out of time.

I should quit complaining. This post is getting longer.

Anyway, it's not that I hate Americans and the culture. It's just I have yet to meet the RIGHT people. I learn awesome things here: openness, assertiveness, critical thinking, individuality, personal rights, and many more.

It's more about taking in whatever suit me and rejecting whatever not.

Yes. I promised to stop. I will. Thank you very much for reading. I love and miss you all. (Oh yeah, another thing I learn, to be more affectionate!)

Ok ok. Finally. I give you:

THE END. ;)

我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困

2011-08-22T15:00:00.002-04:00

我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困

在没有闹钟，电话，加之精神不济，时差下作怪的困意又在虎视眈眈，况且还没加上本人与生俱来的惰性。在这么苛刻的先天和后天环境下我还能保持目前的清醒度，算是很厉害了。

Facebook 一早被我看了又看，Angry Bird 又玩不到，背包里的两本书也是沉闷无比的，只有在需要睡觉时才能上场。

总不可能在机场里玩Minesweeper那么无聊吧？

呃。。。也差不多了。我不就是正在打字写部落格吗？

熬过了一个小时，还有一个。现在脑袋和糨糊没两样，可是糨糊不用保持清醒啊！

从登记时一路走来感觉有点梦幻不真实。而现在是更确实地感觉到自己到底是在干什么了。

抛母弃弟地跑来阿美利坚，有时也在犹豫人生的追求到底该停落在哪里。

我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困我不困

写不下去了。该找点什么刺激又不用脑袋精力的东西做。

重点是：我脑袋动不了，到底什么是既刺激又不用脑袋精力的？

天啊~~~ 还有整整一个小时~~~~~~~

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............

无双不成喜嘛

2011-05-29T11:39:00.003-04:00

反正都写了！就干脆来个安哥吧！

昨天得到学校宿舍的通知了。尝试了两次，还是没有被派到单人房。不仅被安排到二人房，房友都排好了，连同她的个人资料出现在我的系统里。

是有稍想过上诉，不过算了！也许是命吧！就让好命的我尝试和另一个人类同房一年。单想到作息时间我就头大了！好命的我从不需要迁就他人作息。老娘我想睡便睡，关门关灯“啪”一声呼噜大睡，管你玉皇大帝齐天大圣。

以后就没那么幸运了。人家可能要挑灯夜读，要上网，要和家人聊天（她是台湾学生，主修英文，应该是个大学交换生吧）。

白天要面对全是老外（哦，我是老外，他们是老内）的同学，回宿舍却还要和其他人共享空间！！

这是该死的心理专家说的尝试新事物，自我挑战，该死的 stepping out of comfort zone！

会是个不同的体验的。最起码我将会有一个很要好的朋友，前提是我们相处得来。后提是：人见人爱的我能有什么大问题？尤其是我最喜欢和没有朋友的人交朋友。

可是，若是来个时下流行的装可爱台湾女生，动不动就娃娃音，用很多很多的化妆品香水把整个房间弄得乌烟瘴气的话，将会上演一个火星与地球的戏码！但愿可以避掉那个“撞”字，不然我那一年会过得很壮烈！

所以，我会带着期待的心情，和壮烈的情操去住这该死的双人房宿舍。毕竟我现在也找不到校外住宿。

哦，我忘了说，这是个套房式宿舍，单位里面有一间（也就仅仅的那么一间）睡房，另加浴室小厨房小客厅各一个。所以呀，必要时，我还可以避难到客厅里去。

目前重点是，我的学生签证还没到手，星期五才要面试。。。可以先不用那么激动。不过应该不会有太大麻烦吧。。。

中间发生了什么

2011-05-29T10:25:00.005-04:00

有时会来这里看看，看看有什么变化。看了还是一副老样子。当然啰，我没有写新东西，又怎能有新花样呢？

看看其他人的部落格，有些维持得相当好。既真实又流畅的文笔顿时让我相当汗颜。常自认爱读书爱写作的自己根本是在闭门造车。

等等，这个爱读书爱写作的自己好像很久很久没读书写作了。

那，中间发生了什么？

屡屡逛书局却找不到想看的书，往往到最后拾起的还是历史书籍。真是奇怪的人，青春言情的嫌内容毫无生产、感性知性的嫌人家啰嗦、文学的嫌太虚渺看不懂、哲学的嫌太扼杀仅有的脑细胞。好吧，那自己的老本行怎么样？心理励志的书籍又嫌人家不是太浅白就是太武断。而连教授推荐的书本也在以龟速啃食。

再看看这里，发现自从去年八月回来之后就几乎荒废了。刚才特地翻回第一篇文章，你看，不就是合理的解释了！这里本来就是一个让身在海外的自己和大家沟通的平台。

嘿嘿。多好的理由！

回想起来，应该是我的专注吧。生命里总有许多想做、想拥有的东西，所以会专注地做那几件事，从而遗忘了其他正在做或曾经想做的事。

哎，我绝对不是故意写得这么含糊的。

举一例：我从上一篇到现在，中间发生了什么？

之前的我还在为课堂兴奋努力。而现在呢？同学都上课快一个月了，我却退学了。

因为八月的我将会到美国进修临床心理学博士课程。

可是之前的那个学期，我也卯足了劲，尽量做得最好。中间多少奉献了多少的心血和精力，爱献宝的我居然没写过一粒字儿！

回到家园，发现我不再需要依赖部落格表达感受和经历，因为听众们都环绕在我身边。

年纪渐长了，发现自己不再那么爱写，爱读，爱献宝。用时间把身上的棱角磨平，逐渐打磨出一个不失本色却依然闪耀的自己。

因为专注，遗忘了。
因为专注，执著了。
因为专注，拥有了。
因为专注，失去了。
也有段时间专注于不专注，所以不专注了。

理智与感性是分处于一块硬币两面的个体。她们虽相对，却存于一体，谁也离不开谁。看不见彼此，却能感受到彼此。

而我上学期学到最多的，是能够更加仔细地看到我硬币上的两面。

回看我在这里的首篇文章不仅蔻而一笑。本想搬来这里再回答一次，不过好像过早了。再过几个星期吧！

闹一闹又到元宵

2011-02-16T22:02:00.002-05:00

辛卯年新春的第十五天了，也是最后一天过蹦蹦跳跳兔子年新春。下一次过太岁年就要等到十二年后了。

学校开始了，功课紧张，人却很兴奋。像打了支兴奋剂，沉闷的课堂除外。呵呵。明天的功课其实还没完成咧。功课很紧张，可是好像还可以再多一点。（兴奋剂后遗症）唯有现在对求学认真，以后才能担当起重任，对不对？

前几天的西方情人节和今天的中国情人节，昨天和中学老同学聚会时谈起谈恋爱的事情。二月份和新年果然是个讨人厌的东西，让单身的人无可招架。虽然没有情人，可是有很亲密的家人和死党好友，珍惜啊珍惜。

元宵过完了也就没有懒散的借口。愿这个太岁年过得平平安安，顺顺利利，兴兴奋奋。

2010!!!!

2010-12-30T21:29:00.002-05:00

一年两个国度，螫伏了一年多，明天就要迎来新的一年了！！我要赶在2010年的最后一天再补上一篇，希望来年也有头有尾，事事顺利。呵呵。新的一年，我要回去干老本行了-念书。

在此告诉23岁的自己：辛苦了，你的梦想我还没忘记。来年的我会替你加油的！

今年还有什么没做的，赶在这最后的十几个小时完成吧。这一年过去了会是个崭新的一年！

美丽的时光

2010-10-17T00:47:00.005-04:00

笔直地坐在 HELP bus 里的最后一排座位，前方的位子都占满了朝气蓬勃的学院生，和我这身上一派正式的衣着形成强烈的对比。

吵嚷的高谈阔论和肆无忌惮的欢笑声，显得那么熟悉又陌生。

这一份只出现在HELP bus 里的热闹是多么的久违，可是却少了我专属热闹里该有的主角们。

倩文Nawal的吵闹和讨论作业声
Stephanie 的幽默哲学
阿狗和猴子高超无比的默契唱双簧
等等等等

走在曾经闭着眼睛也能走的路上，少了熟悉的人的陪伴，从身边路过的学生脸上仿佛能看到当初的我们的年少轻狂。

为了吃McD Ayam Goreng Spicy 迟进班，结果错过了quiz
并排起三张椅子在大庭广众之下小睡
study week 时连续几天在几乎空无一人的 level 1 讨论课业，最后变成讨论某排泄物（Tammy, 就是你啦）
理所当然的闯进并霸占没人上课的教室，用来讨论作业，在桌上站、躺、敲、吃已成为灵感的泉源
自得其乐的PSG GM 和 food booth
顶着满身的 Maxis 食物味去上课
在班上毫无避忌的打瞌睡（其实根本是在睡觉！）
在布告板上涂鸦某人的“玉”照
下乡后朋友满 block E，几乎去哪里都有可以聊上十分钟的人
最印象深刻的，莫过于独霸 tutor's room，整十个人为某人分工合作，完成作业！没拿过那一科读过那一本书的我还可以死出一面的字给某人咧~
。。。。。。

也许，美丽的不是时光，而是美丽的人，才能让匆匆无情的时光变得美丽。

国庆日快乐

2010-08-30T12:01:00.003-04:00

2010年8月31日，马来西亚欢庆脱离英国殖民的第五十三周年。我不知不觉间待到午夜，窗外响起隆隆的烟花声提醒我时隔已久的日子。

靠在窗边仰望近处的灿烂烟火，暗暗祝福这片美丽的国土能浴火重生，重现光辉的色彩。也希望所有人也一样，明天会更好。

I still love my country

2010-08-20T02:42:00.001-04:00

Hong Kong TVB's special program about 100 days after Opposition Party's Lim Guan Eng's ruling of Penang.

See our Malaysian politics from the eyes of outsiders.

十年一刻

2010-08-19T09:02:00.005-04:00

俺回来了！！回来有足足一个月又四天。回来忙着一大堆有的没的，身边的家人朋友，眼前的，未来的，还有看不见的未来的。

郑重地介绍苏打绿的《十年一刻》：

《十年一刻》背后的故事（youtube）

achun5 | July 31, 2010

【詞曲/吳青峰　導演/徐仁峰】

蘇打綠今年上半年進行中國各城市跨城采風演唱，走遍大江南北親身領略各地風土人情後創作出《十年一刻》及《笑鬧人間》兩首最新單曲，青峰在采風過程中欣賞京劇、二人轉，藉描繪藝人生活寫下《十年一刻》，「台上一分鐘，台下十年功」累積及努力的精神，向各行業長期默默努力，抓取時機上台發光的敬業工作者致敬。

蘇打綠日前於台北林口阿榮片場拍攝《十年一刻》MV，特別邀得三十餘年資歷、國寶級噴畫師李錫堅為佈景噴出栩栩如生的雲朵景片，同時邀李大師入鏡，以歌聲向他長年堅守工作崗位的敬業精神致敬。李大師從小愛畫畫，國中畢業便畫起電影看板，台灣電影最榮盛的年代，拍攝時需要量多質精的搭棚大佈景，他一頭栽進噴畫的專業藝術世界，以噴雲為專長的他曾任職於中央電影公司，早期為王童等名導御用噴畫師，80年代台灣電影衰退，當時高速成長的音樂錄影帶攝製市場成為他的新職場，周杰倫、蔡琴等天王天后MV佈景皆出自他手筆。

MV導演徐仁峰透過鏡頭，讓原本看似片場配角的李大師成為人生故事主角，搭配蘇打綠的音樂及《十年一刻》歌詞，真摯呈現職人為夢想努力、敬業愛業精神，MV結尾安排李大師打開彩繪白雲的背景，他平實的笑顏綴上歲月留下的痕跡，「獻給李師傅及所有為自己人生噴上夢想雲朵的人」字幕躍然而出，令觀者動容。

其中一个comment:

mil654

1 week ago 203

一般噴背景的正確步驟是將圖片透過投影機將影像放大到背景,才能獲得正確的比例。不過看李師傅噴背景十幾年,只有見過他把堆高機當電梯用,沒見過投影機。通常都是由美術指導將一張圖（有些只是黑白線稿）交給李師傅,接著就看到他一個人在幾個水桶之間加加減減調色,已經不用看色票了,他的眼睛比色票還準。然後呢,一個人,沒有助理,沒有草稿,約10公尺高30公尺寬的背景,若趕時間,8~10個小時就搞定了。李師傅不是台灣第一,他是台灣“唯一”,他噴的雲,要考慮到拍攝的因素,所以必須“有景深”,太銳利或太模糊拍出來都不行。“有景深的雲”這項獨門藝術讓日本,中國大陸,香港都得借助李師傅的雙手,許多影片才能順利進行。雖然他這麼屌,不過他沒有助理,因為太苦了。甚麼獎,甚麼委員會連聽都沒聽過他,因為他是最底層的工作人員。只希望大家看到這影片,能在心中給這藝術家一些掌聲。

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

我的十年好像还没开始吧？ =__="'

Panas!!

2010-06-26T21:43:00.007-04:00

妈咪说心静自然凉，可是我已经很静了，房间怎么还是摄氏33度？

耳边突然想起了《鸭子》的旋律，于是我在 Youtube 搜了一系列小学时耳熟能详的流行歌。那时候总能随着轻快的旋律任意哼唱，见识过我乱唱歌功力的人肯定知道我在讲什么。 :P 我还真的是现在才知道里面真正的歌词。。。哈哈。。我家老弟也早已对我见怪不怪，只要不唱王力宏的歌就是法外开恩了！XD

经典的人事物，它深藏在脑海里某处，会时不时蹦出来，提醒你它的存在。

心情果然也随着歌曲轻飘飘起来了~~~

返老还童

2010-06-25T19:54:00.006-04:00

两天前我的下巴牙龈右后方来了个客人，让我重温十几年前长新牙齿时的牙龈肿痛，也害我这几天吃了好多好多顿米粥。

同事替我上网搜查，说哪里痛就用哪里咀嚼口香糖。还真的有效！！至少麻痹了那恼人的疼痛，下颚后方也不再那么肿。

人家脸已经很够圆润了，不需要再画蛇添足了吧。。。

连同事也笑说我喊痛的样子就像是个哭痛的小孩子。一不做，二不休。我今天一回家就打电话给老妈子撒娇，听听那把熟悉的嗓音，接收来自太平洋以外传来的温暖。

xxxxxxx

今午做了一个九十一岁快九十二岁老太太的家访。老太太步入耄耋中期，却无甚病痛，唯一毛病是患上了老人痴呆症。老太太不太认得家人，她年过花甲的媳妇说老太太就像个小孩童，吃喝拉撒都要哄。期间，媳妇抓起老太太的双手，唱起台山童谣，老太太随节奏开心地拍着手掌。看得出来，她原本黯淡无光的双眼霎时间搽亮了，嘴角扬起一道孩子般纯真无邪的弧度。

子非鱼，安知鱼之乐？子非鱼，安知我不知鱼之乐？谁能一口断定四代同堂的老太太幸福不幸福？

媳妇期间道出她在早期香港的生活。石屋建在高高的山上，唯一的水井公厕是步程十五分钟以外，十岁就当家，替奶奶分担家庭开销。虽然媳妇不是我的 client （与其称之为客户，我觉得当事人较贴切），我静静地听她娓娓道来，间中提出些疑问，点出她的坚强，暗里传送我微薄的力量。

当事人不是一个人，周围可能包括了家人的支持和爱心。没有身边的人，当事人不会是今天的模样。

xxxxxxx

还有三天，我就正式完成了一年整的学生工作签证。离开家里时仍是一个未满法定投票年龄的小丫头，回家时则是个廿三岁的成年人。

无论现在我觉得自己有多成熟稳重，将来回头看时仍会笑当时的天真；就像现在回头看当年的我，才会发现以前不曾留意的人事物，无奈摇头涩笑当时的无知。

东海虽赊，扶摇可至。东隅已逝，桑榆未晚。

更何况我才正要步入花信年华，离而立尚有六年有余。近年的历练让我有机会勉强站在巨人肩上窥探世界，虽没有换来一番铿锵治国之论，只摸索出一本立身之道，让自己继续好好做人。

家有多远，离家的游子知道；
家有多近，归家的游子知道。

好想现在就飞到你的身边，像个小孩在你怀里撒娇。妈咪，我刚刚忘了对你说我爱你呢。（KL现在下起了大雪，温度骤降了吧？哈哈。。。）

SHE

2010-06-23T21:19:00.004-04:00

SHE & Gary Chaw's concert at Mohegan Sun, Connecticut. My first concert paid by my very own payroll. We were very close to the stage, $158 is the most expensive, followed by ours. The show started 15 minutes late and ended 15 minutes earlier. No encho.

SHE and Gary performed individually and sang not more than 20 songs in total. It feels like autograph signing performance than a concert. Cindy said Kelly Chan and Sammi Cheng's concert were way better. SHE and Gary didn't even change their costumes...

Of course, like many said, you don't expect too much from Asian concerts performed in America. They were correct.

Photos say it all...

It was this close. Taking photos of Gary is enough. I don't need him to shake my hand. :P

I have been trying to upload SHE's video clip here but the files are too big. :P And I didn't get to take good photos of them.

The size and stage is very similar to Genting's. Overseas moon is not always rounder. But I heard the best casino performing stages are in Las Vegas.

Yi Fang.

Cindy

Summer Clean Up

2010-06-06T00:15:00.005-04:00

I finally made myself sit down to do a clean-up on my USB drive. As I was looking through my files and documents that were sitting in the drive since October 2008 before deleting them, they remind me of moments in these past 2 years. Courses I had taken, assignments I have long forgotten, reports from club meetings, resumes I had drafted and printed, school applications, tax return filing, etc. I had a fun flash-back moments of those days for sure.

More coming up. I still have my laptop hard drive and external hard disk to work on. Photos from everywhere, documents from job hunting and school applications, random stuffs. I'm sure these will keep me busy for the next 6 weeks. :P

I went with my friends to Roosevelt Island and Nepali/Tibetan food this afternoon. I can now call them friends, not co-worker (Will) or ex co-worker (Persephone), 'cause we really hang out and do fun [food] stuffs together. n_n

There isn't much to do (nothing at all) on the island and we were just walking under the hot sun and the other 2 friends happily getting their nice tan on their skin. Random, but fun.

Photo taken on my request (duh, I'm a tourist in front of them) with Upper Manhattan in the background. [Will, Per, Yuyu (Per's friend)]

The lighthouse.

Today's main purpose - Nepali/Tibetan cuisine for dinner.
[Clockwise from upper left: Thali with beef curry, goat curry, sauces for momo, and momo (Nepali dumplings).] Our appetizer, beaten rice went into our stomach before I took a photo. Yummy~~~
I'm going to the Japan Day in Central Park with Teng Seng tomorrow. I have to be at the subway by 9am so I better be off to bed now.

周杰伦

2010-05-30T11:21:00.003-04:00

谁不知道我最爱叫他周屁伦？？就是不喜欢明明一点都不帅还要装帅的人，那拽死人的样子真得很欠扁！！

那天和远道而来的朋友们去唱k，有人点了以下这首歌。旋律轻快，唱腔跳脱却不浮夸，歌词简明却含义深远并激励人心，MV 的故事让整首歌和现实生活更加的贴近。

非常适合即将游子归家的我现在的心情。好啦，我想家了，想和你们在一起吵吵闹闹。

回家吧回到最初的美好

跑到地球的另一端，顺境时知道有人会因我骄傲自豪，逆境时知道有人会给我加油打气。

这地方叫做家。

笼搞

2010-05-19T20:23:00.005-04:00

今天口操流利粤语的婆婆说她嫁给她过世了的北方人丈夫后学会了讲“国语”（也就是普通话），接下来就用国语和我对话。其实她一开口那流利顺畅的普通话真的让我大吃一惊，完全没有受到粤语的影响。

可是后来就不幸破功了。。。

[我的先生以前带只“笼搞”去散步，后来铁链掉了下来，“笼搞”就跑掉了，我先生他就去追那只“笼搞”。。。。]

今天这位见的婆婆让我前阵子几乎焦头烂额，现在得趁离职前把她的事办好，就算是我在岗位上最为自豪的一件事了。

“笼搞”婆婆很可爱，上个星期说要认我做契女。我说：[我把你当我亲婆婆一样看待。]。她竟然说：[我要收你做契女，我不是个随便的人，你要是喜欢就任我做契妈吧？]

我当场无语了。。。呃，婆婆你口口声声说自己是个八十多岁的老太婆（其实只有七十七岁），想认个廿几岁的小妹妹做女儿？

老牛想吃嫩草？？？对不起，俗语用错地方了。。。收回收回。

不好意思，迂腐的我当场立即纠结于辈分问题，她的长孙今年十九岁，那他岂不是要叫我“契姨”？？？

于是我打打太极拳把话题模糊带过了，虽然带的有点失败。。但是还是有效嘛。。。呵呵。。没办法，“笼搞”婆婆很健忘，只好欺负她记性不好啰。

果然，今天的她已经忘了上个礼拜的谈话。当我们这一行的，专业操守非常重要，要和当事人保持一定的距离。

婆婆今天“笼搞”了好几次，我都好不容易地忍住笑了。这份工作很适合我，几乎天天有黑色幽默。其实“笼搞”事件是以悲剧收场的。。。

今天读到新闻报道美国惨烈的求职市场，四千多人应征四十几个空缺。同以论之，今年申请升学的人数和素质会更加厉害，所以也让我更加释怀。我会用一年的时间再好好充实自己，不气不馁！嘻。。。

聽

2010-04-25T23:04:00.002-04:00

繁体字的“听”，是用耳朵和心凑成一个“听”字。

常常被人笑骂我没心。其实我都一向很用心在听，在给与回应。

沟通是双向的，并不仅仅是一方负责传达，另一方负责接收。

相信，我让人最懊恼的地方，是我大部分只听不说。不是没说，只是说的不够。

我现在的生活可以用枯燥俩字概括。说出口的，是问候。没说出口的，也没什么其他的东西。

几年前有个人说过我很含蓄。有个更绝，说我闷着不出声的样子很欠扁。

是吧。稍微和我接近的朋友应该偶尔忍受不住我的沉闷。就像只闷葫芦，敲了才会响。

对不起，还是让你忍受不了了。最近真的水静鹅飞，所以都静静的。

顺便也告知诸位，据说在很久很久以前，牙尖嘴利的我其实忘了怎么说自己。我也是才发现的。

Earth Day - April 22

2010-04-23T21:26:00.007-04:00

I wonder if it's just me - this year's Earth Day is getting so much more attention than it did in the previous years. More people are aware this week is the Earth Week and are constantly talking about being environmental friendly.

I hope the green fever does not wear off after this week. Let's see what we can do as part of the living beings on the earth. This is what I've been doing:

In the office:
-Reduce paper use - only prints whatever necessary
-Reuse - I use the back page of the rough papers
-Recycle - I trash the used papers into the shred box, assuming the shredded papers will go into recycling later
-I turn off the lights when I'm the last one to leave the room

Daily:
-I only turn my electric devices on when I''m using them and turn it off when I go out or sleep
-I un-plug the cord from the switches - Yes, a very minor amount of electricity still runs in between. Especially in the case of U.S. electricity ports that do not have the on/off switches
-I turn off the lights in my room whenever I walk out of my room - Although larger amount of electricity is needed to turn appliances on/off, studies have found that if you'll be away for 15 minutes or more, turning it off saves more.
-I do laundry every 2 weeks, and only wash whatever needed with the minimal amount of detergent. - Detergent does great harm to clean water source and soil.
-I eat a lot. But I eat what I want and very rarely waste food.
-I don't buy what I like (e.g., clothes, gadgets, books). I buy what I NEED.
-I do grocery shopping at the supermarket with a back pack (for heavy food stuffs like milk, canned soup) and a reusable bag. - I save at least 2 plastic bags a week.
-I cook and bring food to work as often as I can. I also try dining at the restaurant than taking out food. When I take out, I try to skip plastic bag and disposable cutlery.
-I bath with slightly warm water, not hot water. I turn off the water when I apply shampoo/body wash. I don't let the tap water runs freely when I'm brushing the teeth or washing the face.
-I recycle the used items - newspapers, card boards, bottles, etc.
-I bring my own water and I avoid buying bottled water.

My room was next to the pantry room and two doors next to the bathroom when I was staying in the dorms. The "stingy" part of me shows when my ears hear the tap water dripping in the pantry room, or sometimes in the bathroom, from my room and I would immediately walk out to turn it off. Every drop counts. It seems like I don't need to pay for the water; but we all pay it at the expense of our future, and our next generations' future.

I simply want to share how little I am doing on my part. No need to volunteer, no need to call for slogans to save the earth. I'm sure you share some of what I've been doing here. Saving is not being stingy, but really being knowing what you NEED and spending them rationally.

The best thing of living in New York City is I commute with the train and bus everywhere I go. I feel guilty of the amount of petrol I used in driving in KL. I will try to use public transportation as often as I could when I go home. Saving the time is not the excuse.

E-DAY
This year is the 40th Earth Day. Earth Day was first celebrated in New York City on April 22, 1970. NYC is celebrating the E-DAY this week.

Wonder how I spent my day on April 22? I took shorter lunch hour and finished my home visit earlier so I could rush to the Times Square for the E-DAY celebration and exhibition. I was too late when I arrived at 3.40pm, though the event was scheduled 2-4pm. The booths were closing when I was there.

My next stop was the Grand Central. The exhibition was much smaller than I expected. Not more than 15 booths. I got this shirt as a present. It's made out of recycled cotton (clothes) by the clothing company Anvil. They have shirts made out of recycled bottles too!

The front.
The back.

Well, that's pretty much how I celebrated the E-DAY. We all can do our little part. Start today if you haven't. And please share with me tips you have been doing daily to save the resources. I always wish I could do more.

S.H.E.

2010-04-21T18:30:00.003-04:00

Yeah!! I'll be attending the first S.H.E. concert in the U.S. on June 20th, 2010 with 2 of my friends!! And the best part is: the ticket is paid with my very own hard earned money (though I'm not too sure with the "hard earned part"). Hoho...

Gary Chaw will be the performing guest, how I wish he doesn't show up at all so SHE can sing for the entire hours. I like listening to Gary Chaw's song, but I didn't pay to listen to him. :P

Most of us grow up in our secondary school life listening to SHE's songs. The highest record was a total of 3-4 SHE songs were used in ARGS Chinese Society gathering. It's a tribute to the everlasting friendship shown by 3 of them, and to my school life back then. Meow~~~

=____=！

2010-04-16T22:24:00.004-04:00

I told u I'm to live to eat!!

Seafood tom yum noodles. I had it during my lunch break at a Malaysian restaurant in Chinatown. It was burning [temperature] hot and flaming spicy though it wasn't in a clay pot. It didn't taste as good, but good enough to cure my "craziness". :P

Claypot tom yam glass noodles

2010-04-14T18:46:00.003-04:00

No kidding. I've been craving for this dish for 2 days... I was so craved to the extent my mouth was watering when I thought of the food before I fell asleep last night.

When was the last time I ate tom yam glass noodles? At least 3 years ago.

Don't need to bother me. This is one of those days I am especially craved for extra spicy food.

!#$%^&*%^%$ I'm going to hunt for tom yum glass noodles this weekend! =___="

106

2010-04-08T22:13:00.005-04:00

When we were discussing who is having the oldest client in our department, Heather is the winner. An 106-year-old African American woman is the oldest client followed by an 105-year-old man. I have a Hispanic woman who is 104.

106.

Sandra said: I wonder how they feel right now. The whole world has changed!

Carolina: There were no computers, internet, electricity, tap water, plane, etc. back in the days.

And I asked: Women can't even vote in those days right?

The Americans didn't have an exact answer for me but they took it quite seriously. Heather and Sandra said: We should know this. And they googled the answer.

The ban was lifted in 1920s.

Which means this 106-African women who was born in 1904 witnessed the first votes of women when she was a teenager.

1904:
-Women had no voice in the society in the U.S.
-White was the only superior race in the U.S. or to them, in the whole world, something called the White Supremacy
-Chinese were strongly associated with marijuana pipes (ganja) and were seen as a filthy race in the U.S.
-Mainland China was still under the rule of the late Ching Dynasty (the infamous Empress Cixi died in 1908 at the age of 74)
-Hong Kong was in the 7th anniversary of British colonization
-There was no "Malaysia", but Tanah Melayu, colonized by the British
-Immigrants traveled by ships for months or years
-World World I didn't happen until more than 10 years after

Most of us read these from books, history books. But there are people who walked through these - been there, seen those. I have always been wondering if I wasn't to study psychology, I might consider dwelling into the area of history documentary. Hoho...

How about 100 years from now? Maybe
-Cancer is as curable as high fever
-A true ethnicity equality is achieved in the U.S.
-Human rights are more established in China
-The term bumiputera does not equal to biased privileges in Malaysia - all races compete and work together on the same par

And our grandchildren are probably feeling bad for what we've been through right now.

Change doesn't just happen immediately. It takes years, or centuries. Gender and ethnicity equality movement started more than 100 years ago, and they are still up on campaigning. I believe equality for all will happen eventually, be it gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, age, social class, etc., given if we still have activists fighting for them. Hoho.. That's what most of us think, that's none of our business. As long as I eat well, live well, why bother?

100 years from now. I didn't go into how the earth would look like, did I? The overflowing information out there about global warming and environmental issues don't need me to write more, especially we now have more propaganda about "love the planet Earth" in this month of April.

"We did not inherit the earth, we loaned it from our children. "

* By the way, this post was supposed to tell how amazing to have an 106 client. =___="

April 3, 2010 - Cherry (Sakura) Blossom Festival @ Washington D.C.

2010-04-05T17:03:00.013-04:00

Me, Kaori Saki, Teng Seng. Kaori is Teng Seng's co-worker from Japan. I could only tell she's a Japanese by her name because her face and accent don't look/sound the stereotypical "Japanese" at all.

Persephone (middle/my ex co-worker) and Courtney. It was hard to find the right time and place to meet up with Persephone because it was too big and crowded. We were so surprised when we saw each other on the sidewalk! Haaa... By the way, I was guilty of letting Teng Seng shake the branch to come out with the petal falling effect. :(

Cheers 940! You're in the camera (via the phone)! ;)

Kaori said the cherry flowers are at their fullest bloom (also heading to an end) when the green sprouts/leaves show up on the trees. The weather was sunny, warm and breezy - just nice for an outing like this.

好几次，枝上的樱花花瓣随着微风缓缓落下，树下的人仿佛都停顿了半秒，安静的沐浴着大自然带来的樱花雨。可惜相机不够厉害，没办法拍下来，只有用相机录影拍了两段。

只羡鸳鸯不羡仙。 I wonder what kind of ducks are those...

Thomas Jefferson Memorial. Jefferson - the author of the Declaration of American Independence and the third president of U.S.

A little lamb found on the edge of sidewalk.

小绵羊说：悠悠大千世界里无法出于淤泥而不染，唯有尽量维持一颗纯洁的脑袋。闭上眼睛，任尔吹东西南北风，波涛汹涌，吾仍处之于泰然。

Picking the flowers is prohibited. The paintings were let dry on the ground while collecting the fallen petals on them.

Go Beaver! Bemidji State University's mascot.

By the way, this is not a sakura tree.

On the staircase of Jefferson Memorial. This is only very very tiny part of the entire crowd.

Washington D.C.'s Chinatown. Does this remind you of our Petaling Street? I miss the pan mee stall in the alley opposite the old Popular Bookshop.

Subway fast food chain.

Starbucks. [Reminder, this is in America, not in China.] ：）

:)

2010-04-05T01:03:00.007-04:00

词穷了。完全找不到一个字眼来形容脸上的表情和心里的感觉。凌晨一点钟，脑袋哪里还能挤出什么东西来？

刚才在网上看到中学朋友放上去的短片，一分钟多一点的短片里只有她的宝宝，背景还要搭配上周董的《回到过去》。回想起中学时期还是个蹦蹦跳跳的学生的她，和现在已升为人母的她，也真替她开心。只是我还没适应这种老同学正在抱小孩的阶段。最幸运的是，还好处于这阶段的老同学一个手掌也数得出来。嘻嘻。

以前中学后分道扬镳的我们，现在也一个个踏出高等学府门槛，进入大染缸。

有时觉得时间太慢，想要做的东西还在酝酿着；有时又觉得时间过得太快，有点赶不上身边的变化。

能在时间流逝的每一瞬间喜怒哀乐，又何尝不是件美事。

不是我要文绉绉，是在等照片上传好，所以只有多打几粒字打发时间。以下是星期六到华盛顿府一年一度的赏樱花节所拍的照片。

大好星期六我竟然约了朋友，凌晨五点九摸黑起身，和朋友共三人坐巴士花四个小时车程从纽约市来到华盛顿府，步行整整五个小时才绕完湖赏完花，基本上整天不是在走路就是坐巴士，我都觉得神奇！回来后发现鼻头和脸颊像喝了酒一样，都红扑扑的。当天太阳很大，又没戴帽子，所以有少少被晒伤了。

Washington Monument

冬天过后，在辽阔的蓝天下，会有百花怒放的空间。

Ching Ming Festival

2010-03-29T18:19:00.006-04:00

How interesting to listen to the two Chinese women in their near or early forties, sitting on the subway train, talking about their visit to the grave yard for Ching Ming in their fluent American English. I was amazed by the fact they still pay their visit to the grave yard, practice the tradition, and they were talking about the taboos (e.g., the "right" way to burn the paper money with a stick) which some of those are similar to Malaysian's.

When the native language is such an important element to identify one's ethnicity, losing (or not having) the ability of speaking the language allows others to assume you're losing your cultural identity. I must admit I'm one of those with these biases. You're of this ethnicity, but not. I'm wrong in many ways, but I'm amazed every time I encounter something that proves me wrong. Guess what, I don't speak good Hakka anymore, I'm not a truly Hakka besides the so-called Hakka blood in my body. Making a simple Hakka dish? I can't even name the ingredients for any of those. Oh wait, how about the Teochewnese inherited from my mother? Let's not go that far.

Fortunate enough, I share the same language as my beloved gong gong, assuming he speaks enough Mandarin (I think so) or I would retain my ability to speak fluent Hakka if he is still alive. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was 8. I have been wondering what kind of generation gap we would have if he is still alive. Would I be as clingy as I was, or would I be neglectful of him? There's no if. I am glad I get to do my part to many others like what I would be doing if gong gong is still alive.

I can't give you a right answer about karma, afterlife and the use of burnt paper money. Pragmatically wise, Ching Ming Festival gives every culturally Chinese a chance to take time off from our busy life to mourn for the dead, or maybe for some to point fingers at those who don't. I don't agree some who suggest that praying for the dead is a kind of idolization. Paying respect to someone you love in any ways you're comfortable with is fine with me. Even if you don't, I'm fine too. Because I'm guilty of missing the festival since 3 years ago.

码头鱼

2010-03-26T22:30:00.003-04:00

我自认对食物的接受度很高。当然，除了酸的水果，尤其为黄梨，还有印象中的日本纳豆，其余的我都能放进嘴巴吞进肚子。

试想想一个对臭豆腐爱不释口的人能觉得天底下还有更臭的食物吗？

答案是：有！！

昨天回家经过厨房时，我还以为是对面厕所传来的微微恶臭，就像蒸发掉了水分的臭尿味。

刚才跑到厨房时，嗅到的是像某人好几天没喝水，在地上撒了一泡黄黄的尿可是过了好几天也没冲掉的味道。

房东太太正打开锅盖，告诉我那是码头鱼，她在蒸鱼头，等下要熬汤用的。我匆匆应她说：用鱼头熬汤很好哇，然后即刻逃进我的房间！！

我跟你讲，是真得很臭！杜紫郡之前讲竹笋闻起来像臭尿味，我稍加犹豫后仍能送进口里，过了几次就完全免疫了。可是这码头鱼实在是。。。是太厉害了。。。

我完全被那臭味打败了。所以说同学们，最臭的不是臭豆腐，而是码头鱼。我要帮臭豆腐洗冤。

还有，请原谅我这么低俗反胃却写实逼真的描述。

感动

2010-03-22T19:57:00.005-04:00

不知道她的爱好是不是煲红豆水，连续两次都被热心的八十二高龄老太太塞了罐回家。和上次一样，我连连拒绝后还是得让她将七寸高的塑料罐子装满。我才借个厕所回来，赫然发现她已经装满了两大罐！！

不是酱靠害吧？？？我只要是糖水都不喝，还给我两大罐？

看这老太太一边聊，一边很用心地拿了卫生袋子把罐子一个个包起来，说就算漏了也不要紧，袋子是干净的。只见她转个身，变了个红色的塑料袋，我正要把打包好的糖水装进去，她说：“我先帮你把罐子用纸皮袋装起来，这样比较稳当。”

于是我只得由着她弄。站在她身边随着她忙来忙去，即用心又细心地把那两大罐红豆水给包起来，顿时觉得心口紧紧地、暖暖地，鼻头也怪怪地，那是感动的感觉没错。

两罐红豆糖水，分别被裹了两层后才被装进红色袋子里。心里也像被裹了好几层，暖暖的，穿着一件长袖衬衫走在这雨天的摄氏十二度也不算什么。（同事们今早看见我这单薄的衣衫在没有雨伞的情况下上班都吓倒了，他们还是一身冬装打扮，有个还穿着雨靴。）

尽管，那是两罐我讨厌的红豆水，还要特多料的。

哦，老太太的爱好就是煲红豆水。其间她竟说：“有时我半夜睡不着就起来煲糖水。” 想必我手上提的是她昨晚失眠的成果？

回到家里，我一脸媚笑地把其中一罐给了房东太太，另一罐成了我肚里的晚餐。可是我还是一样不喜欢红豆水。

讲到这里，我想起上个星期另一个家访。那老太太猛夸我很温柔。对，是温柔没错，说我对老人家很细心，说话举止很温柔，另一对老夫妇也直夸我很有家教。

我觉得我是完全可以骗老人家的。等一等，不是骗，我是真的很用心工作，没有造作的，ok？所以我的确是温柔细心有家教没错。Hmm... 我完全是贤淑型的。。。

回家路上想起中二时蓝忆邦的《我太难被感动》。原来这首歌没有想象中的流行，我只找到这一支video，youtube 没有真正的MV。

修正：我并非太难被感动，我看戏都很容易哭的。

今天的你，多久没被感动了？

Food for Thought

2010-03-17T17:53:00.000-04:00

Let's go back to RICE~~~ n_n

故事时间

2010-03-12T23:21:00.005-05:00

刚刚搜寻了郑板桥难得糊涂的故事，本想加在上一篇文章里，嫌缠脚所以删了，后来又不甘这么好的故事被埋没了，讲故事的瘾发作得太厉害，所以特意再放上来。嘻。

以下全属转载。

郑板桥“难得糊涂”的来历

郑板桥“难得糊涂”四字写得妙趣横生，韵味无穷，这是郑板桥将真草隶篆溶于一体而独创的一种奇特写法。

至于“难得糊涂”四字，据传还有一段有趣的来历。
有一年，郑板桥到山东莱州云峰山观摩郑公碑，晚间借宿在山下一老儒家中，老儒自称糊涂老人，言谈举止，高雅不凡，两人交谈十分投契。老人家中有一块特大砚台，石质细腻，镂刻精美，郑板桥看了大为赞赏。老人请郑板桥留下墨宝，以便请人刻于砚台背面，郑板桥感到糊涂老人必有来历，便题写了“难得糊涂”四字，并盖上了自己的名章“康熙秀才雍正举人乾隆进士”。砚台有方桌大小，还有很大一块余空，郑板桥也请老人题写一段跋语，老人没加推辞，随手写道：“得美石难，得顽石尤难，由美石转入顽石更难。美于中，顽石外，藏野人之庐，不入富贵之门也。”写罢也盖了方印，印文是：“院试第一，乡试第二，殿试第三”郑板桥看后，知是一位情操高雅的退隐官员，顿生敬仰之意。见砚台还有空隙，便又提笔补写了一段文字：“聪明难，糊涂尤难，由聪明而转入糊涂更难。放一着，退一步，当下安心，非图后来报也。”

后来这段文字传了出来，人们感慨其中富含的哲理，便写成横联挂起来，“难得糊涂”一词也就越传越广。

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聪明难，糊涂尤难，由聪明而转入糊涂更难。放一着，退一步，当下安心，非图后来报也。

我还没到那种境界，充其量也还只是个在东施效颦装聪明的小丫头。可是以上的话我非常喜欢，和佛法中的返璞归真，与世不争的意境有异曲同工之妙。

磁场

2010-03-12T22:29:00.003-05:00

中文里面的“缘”很难用英文表达出来。昨天突然灵机一动，将之比喻为磁场也算是比较科学、西方的形容词。每个人都有不同相吸、相斥的元素，而吸引还是排斥的力度也不尽相同。

磁场，对于我们这科系的学生应该算很重要吧。也应该说天生排斥力较高的人念起这科来会比较辛苦，所以相比之下，我们都比一般人来的可亲。这一点，小的我还是有少许信心的。

话说那天和一个久未谈天的朋友网上聊起，明明短短的两句却暗涌十足，那朋友也算是个亲和的人了，照理说一大班人在一起时的交情也不算太差，一对一却有点火药味，你来我往几句后还是觉得早点跑人为妙。后来仔细想想，我也没做过任何伤天害理的是啊，更不要说是不是抢了人家男朋友之类的。哈哈，那暗涌真的让我有这种错觉。以我的习惯，不喜欢的人非必要时绝不会接触。而我不喜欢的人屈指能数，也有应当的原因，可这厮也真的有点金刚摸不着头脑，就怪所谓的缘分或磁场吧。算了，这说明我还也是个普通人，事事包容之下也有少许的排斥能力。

人生几何，该留下的会沉淀，该离场的会蒸发，好好地珍惜所有就是了。中学时的座右铭是船到桥头自然直，大学时是的勉励语是 no pain, no gain，而后来则爱上郑板桥的难得糊涂。聪明难，糊涂尤难，由聪明而转入糊涂更难。放一着，退一步，当下安心，非图后来报也。当然，从中可以窥视到自己这几年里的心态转变。

星期五的晚餐，照例和朋友一起解决。突然听到有人手机里发出一首熟悉却久违的音乐前奏，整个人登时high起来了。又一个周末，且这里会是个绵雨淅沥的周末，来吧，跟着音乐摆动！！

春暖花开

2010-03-07T14:41:00.003-05:00

现在终于明白什么叫冬去春来，为什么农历新年叫过春节。现在外面的温度是摄氏13度！！没错！！是13度！！

讨人厌的冬天还有满天白雪终于讲拜拜了。我把窗口开尽，让那春天的阳光将我房间装满，现在只等窗外的树开花，现在的树都很丑，光秃秃地。Bemidji 太北了，所以两年来都没尝到跟着我们华夏农历里的那四季。Bemidji冬天太长，夏天太短，春天秋天更短。

可这城市却没有太多的花草树木，能偶尔在床头听见那鸟语已经算不错了。连鸟儿都跑出来唱歌了，我还能窝在家里咩？

昨天有senior从Minnesota过来这里玩，就顺便出来吃饭。同行的一个人问我：“住得怎样？大城市喔？” 可能我都只在家和公司两点一线，没有其他消遣，也可能我人生中大部分的时间都是在城市里生活，我没办法体会他所谓的大城市的意思。在我而言，这是一个我生活的地方，虽说是个世界最繁荣的城市之一，可是若抱着的心态没变，在哪里也会使既来之，则安之的吧？当然，若大城市意会的是不同的食物，我就可以大谈特谈了。突然想起那天同事们听说我不知道大麻的味道时给我的表情，这也是大城市的意思吗？

外边这么好的天气，看来前天和两个同事说起要起脚车环绕曼哈顿一圈的计划可以提早进行了。嘻！

刚才在摺衣服的时候，发现漏了一只袜子在洗衣店里。一定是从打干机里拿衣服时忘了检查，把它给遗漏了。红蓝相间的袜子静静地躺在床上，我把它的同伴给忘了，它也变得无用武之地了。一手把它拿起，另一手打开抽屉，发现里面也躺着几只和它命运相同的袜子们，暗自摇摇头，说声抱歉也把它放进去。把它们留着，是不舍得，还是期待他们的双胞胎会跑回来？看来只有等搬家时一次把它们全扔了。

我的面煮好了。下一个问题是：吃饱后该不该睡午觉好呢？

Spring oh Spring!!

2010-03-04T19:00:00.003-05:00

*Knock knock*

CT: Who's there?

S: Spring's here.

CT: Oh wait, I need to put my jacket on.

S: Eh, I'm Spring, not Winter.

CT: Yes, I know. But I just came back from Malaysia, you're cold!!

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I can't believe all the endeavor throughout the 2.5 years of hard core winter (as low as -34'C) I had in Bemidji went wasted after a 2-week vacation from the 34'C Malaysia. I can hear the Spring singing from 100km away and it's 4'C out there!! I should be jacket-less, if not in shorts, right now. Yet I'm still wrapped in my winter jacket like a dumpling and like any other New Yorkers. Sorry Bemiji-ans, I failed you all.... :(

I have to admit I was suffering from a mild jet lag since I landed last Saturday and it is my work that has been keeping me on par with local time and routine. After 4 days of work and adjustment, I finally found my ground. Guess what, it's daylight saving next Sunday. My clock has to turn 1 hour faster. Another time adjustment.

I just watched a very meaningful TVB video clip on Facebook posted by Yee Mun.

Prosperity, happiness, sadness, glamorous, and love. Only love will live on and its greatness will show as time passes by. This reminds me of this important person whose love has been unconditionally shining on me in the past 23 years and more years to come.

爱，是一种坚持，在面对质疑的声音中坚持自己喜爱的理想，用行动来实践理想，而其余的交给时间当证人。和我一样在追风的人，我挺你！！

好长的梦

2010-02-27T15:13:00.003-05:00

今天醒来，发现做了一个很长很长的梦。梦里我回到马来西亚，和家人去了槟城过年，在KL四处寻吃美食，见了几个中学“活”党（现在还在过新年的，不吉利的话不能说），总之就是过了两个星期的农历新年。

刚才机场海关官员还问我，工作准证仅剩四个月啰？时间过得好快，一眨眼又过完一年了。

后天要开工了。还有不超过二十个星期又会回家了，也就是说我只剩二十个星期和同事们相处。

无论如何，祝大家元宵节幸福快乐！！与家人佳人团圆甜蜜！！！就让我以马来西亚的天气来说爱你们！！！ n_n

猜一水果

2010-02-06T22:05:00.006-05:00

元宵虽还没到，先来猜猜一个歌谜。下面的新年歌里唱出了一种水果。仔细听啰！！

猜到了吗？

提示：只用耳朵听会容易些。。。

答案：木瓜 (00:48)再倒会去听听看！！

听了还是没有？Papaya啦！！新年快乐！！n_n （切记：小心留言，天机莫泄，否则祝你新年行屎运，恭喜破财。嘻！！）

是不是觉得在下才高八斗，连水果也逃不出我法耳咧？？Muahahahaha!!!!

A French guy + French Revolution History 101

2010-02-03T21:57:00.005-05:00

I went for 20 cents per chicken wing after work with my co-workers, Ms. P and Mr. W (the 1987/youngest gang in the office) at a bar in the West Village.

Ms. P's friend, Mr. M brought his new intern called Alexis from France along. Then we started talking about the very brief history of the infamous French Revolution. Who else better qualified to tell the story other than the French lad?

Imagine a good looking guy (and he's a French) telling history with the pleasant French accent in a bar. =)

Ok, kick me for being too superficial - good looking + a French + French accent? Wait, let's put this in a better way, this is called an aesthetic taste (Yong, 2010). Haha...

认真的人最好看，认真说故事的人更好看，认真说历史的人更更好看；好看的人的认真时更更更好看，好看的人认真说故事更更更更好看，好看的人认真说历史更更更更更好看。嘻嘻，晕了吧？？

哪里可以找到比最好看更更更更更好看的人？

还没想到？

其中一个就近在眼前啊！！

2010-01-31T11:06:00.004-05:00

今天难得抬头看看头上一片天。湛蓝的天空万里放晴，挂着稀稀松松的几抹白云，我不自禁地把惯性的驼背和腰板挺直，好对得起这漂亮的天气。

浓雾逐渐转薄，从前朦胧的景象变得不再是那么远不可及。从来就是一个取巧的人，九十分能收效的东西很少会做满一百分。可是这一次是时候做好万分准备，才能给少时的梦想一个交待。

过了累人的十二月，现在面对的是等待大学答复的煎熬，平日从容如我也开始忐忑。太多的下一步怎么走，可是也充斥着未知数。

呵。这不就是生活吗？

好！！把腰板继续挺直，昂昂头豪迈地喊一声“加油”，往前跨去。

当然，再次感谢沿路给予支持的所有人。一句话，一个肯定，统统钻近了这颗内敛不善表达的心。

何谓之辣？

2010-01-27T21:05:00.003-05:00

刚从 Happy Hour 回到家，下班后我们替一个仅比我早来两个月的同事辞行。席间我们聊起那天来面试的男士。

话说两天前的一个午后，我右边的同事刚好做家访去了，我们的上司带了一位前来面试的男士坐到我隔壁让他回答几道题。

当时他一坐下来不久，我开始不动声色地往左边挪。TMD!!! 知道你们本地人冬天少冲凉，可是你是来面试咧先生！！！能不能照顾一点点形象？？连我都知道面试要把头梳美美啦！我当时根本是短气吸，长气呼，我都几乎要跑到外面的复印机去避难了！

他做完答后，还要很潇洒地跟我们讲bye bye, have a nice day。Nice 什么 day啦，好好的空气都被你污染了！！

直到他那回眸一"掰"我才想起，他应该不会是喷了古龙水吧？可是也未免太臭了点？

我身后的同事眼看他走后，就问：你们有没有嗅到那味道？

出于礼貌，我给了个典型的东方人的微笑，看看她这次会吐什么象牙出来。

谁知她竟说：Omg! He's so hot! And he smelled so hot!

我左边的生了一对儿女的同事也竟然附议！

那时我还以为她们是在踩多过赞，刚刚谈起时又再提了一次，还说最好请他！哇，那千千万万不要给那个古龙水搽得像两年没洗澡的济公的人坐在我们的房里，我会窒息而亡！！

马来西亚人嗜辣，可此辣非彼辣，最匪夷所思的是，古龙水怎么可以做得像体臭味一样？而且嗅起来很辣？？

A Happy Monday

2010-01-25T21:19:00.002-05:00

Why? Because it was raining since last night till this morning.

BUT, the wind was so strong and it broke my $10.00 umbrella.

Never mind that, I'm still happy.

What's the best but maybe the worst thing could happen in a social service agency like mine? It's when your clients start putting trust and faith in you and are truly connected with you.

This makes me feel good - because I know my work has been worthwhile and is recognized.

This sucks too - because I feel bad leaving my job.

I shall sleep early tonight, to keep my entire week as happy as today. n_n

很显？

2010-01-20T18:55:00.003-05:00

今天从家访下班后走路到地铁的路上突然想起一首曾红极一时的歌曲 - 哈林庾澄庆的《大眼睛》！！哈哈。。不要质疑，我就是老啦，你吹咩？

呃。。好像是中二时代的歌曲，和超级星期天差不多一个时期呱。回来在Ｙｏｕｔｕｂｅ上搜了出来，感觉好像又回到了初中时代，ＭＶ现在看起来仍是很搞笑！

今天拿到名片了！！老娘我从此升级为有名片派人士！！呵呵。。虚荣啊虚荣！我隔壁同事说她以前等了足足一年。不可以啦，人比人气死人，那比我迟来三个月的那个ＡＢＣ同事不是更幸运？谁知这更幸运的同事好像嫌打击我得不够，竟然告诉我那才来第二个月的同事也拿到了！！算啦，谁叫她鸿运当头，上个月还没做足一个月就已经抽到公司圣诞派对的大奖，二十寸的平面液晶小电视。说不定是我站了她的光咧！还是很满足。。

《大眼睛》重播了又重播，把今天沉闷的心情驱走不少。唉，又一个老人家过世了。更要命的是，他过世前三天我还跟他的护理通电话，说他发烧伤风了，才吃完药正休息。我看我淡得随时可以遁入空门的了，只差戒口和剃度而已。;P

好啦。听歌啦！包你听了整天都心情畅快。一月份很多很多朋友过生日，却没一个可以参与的。选支这么热闹的歌曲给你们贺贺啦！！不用骂我孤寒，我便是！！哇咔咔。。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fB-3Z3gR3g　

歹势！不让传贴，自己爬上去听啦。

良药苦口

2010-01-17T21:39:00.002-05:00

熬了整整八个半小时的一大锅八珍汤终于倒进肚子了。锅底的汤才是最呛的，基本上像在喝药材多过在喝汤。良药真的很苦口，有没有利于病我不知道。

哈哈。。我很苯呵？这叫自作自受！！现在还是想不明白为什么这么笨！！看在是配白饭的份上还是解决了那锅汤。算很厉害啰，不是每个人做得到的！

不知逆耳又是不是利于行？

Patience and empathy?? F off

2010-01-15T22:51:00.004-05:00

Haha... Pardon my use of language. I'm getting too polluted by the native New Yorkers.

Remember what we learned in counseling classes or any other psychology classes? Respect, empathy, patience, openness, unconditional love, oh come on, what do you know about dealing with people with mental illness?

An elderly who was so friendly and happy in the first hour of the home visit burst into madness (ok, it's frustration that was very well-controlled from getting into madness) and tears, and it seemed like you are such an idiot and she yelled (close to) at your face that you're the worst person in the world and "the first person in her life who has made her feel so terribly upset"???

I almost cried in my heart. Really.

Really? I didn't hear what you were saying and I didn't listen to you?

By the way, she almost wanted to chase me out of her apartment, I saw she was trying hard controlling herself.

Bullshit me. I gave her an understanding face, I nodded and acknowledged her frustration, gave her some time and control of the situation. Deep in my heart was like: What the hell you're doing?

Tell me what empathy means when you deal with the socially labeled crazy people.

And then, tell me what does it feel like being a socially labeled crazy person when you're one.

What the hell you know about me? You don't know a single thing and you're giving me the da*n look and speaking in a tone that are making me even more unbearable? As though it is my fault to put out on you? You think I'm crazy huh?

Unfortunately we human beings are naturally born to be socializing organisms. We need to join the crowd and follow their rules. What's we and what's theirs? There are standards even for how you feel and what you act, or even who and what you choose to become. You don't follow, too bad, you're crazy. And you need to see a psychiatrist for meds or a psychotherapist for therapies.

Are psychiatrists and/or psychologists really needed so badly? Mr Carl Marx might say it's the tool of the dominant group of people to control or punish the deviant/minority group of people. I'm sorry for you, but I need to give you treatment so you'll be like anyone else [only applies to the socially labeled normal people].

It ended up the client had the emotional bursts for 10 minutes which I felt like centuries and she apologized for her attitude and behavior. She said she didn't mean to act that way and she is really sorry for that. I was like: Really??

Oh yes, probably.

For someone who sees a psychologist every week and takes depression pills daily, AND suffers from seizures and had done a neurosurgery that affects both her left and right brain hemisphere. The louder she got, the harder she clenched her palm or she held the back of her head.

Maybe I should thanked her "wonderful doctor" (Client, 2010) who she sees weekly. She calmed down and had a better control of herself. We talked a little bit about how she felt and then she was happily talking about her new year resolution and plans after I started the topic.

4 years of college you think you really have the g*d da*n patience and empathy to deal with "crazy people"? What you know about "crazy people" and "craziness"? I'm sorry, not you. It's me. I thought I'm prepared. It's just the beginning, girl.

This makes me wonder how it feels like being a "crazy" person. No stereotypes? Oh yes, you want to try become one? Why you busy body, so called psychology graduates trying to make everyone to feel, think and act the way you want? Okay, eliminate the voluntarily-therapy-seeking people. The old Chinese saying: You ain't the fish, how do you know what the fish feels/thinks?

[Okay. It was my twin sister. I just got my mind and body back from her.] It's been eight months without formal schooling and of course, no [serious] thoughts about clinical psychology. This is still a very gray area - Normal vs Abnormal. I felt guilty for triggering the senior's emotional outburst at the home visit. But again, it could happen to anyone. My colleague and supervisor (I got this client transferred from them) warned me before I went to the home visit and I thought they were not empathy enough for the client. Mind me, they are MSWs (Masters in Social Work). What I had was better. The client called my colleague a b****. See? Now you feel better for me? Hehe...

I'm thankful to get her as my client and to have her let out on me in the last 15 minutes of the home visit. Newbies in the agency do not have to handle "difficult" clients and I got one (maybe a minor one)! n_n

Most importantly, this is a pre-exposure of my potential future work. Not just that, it's a test of how I see the people other than me.

I finally produce a more "intellectual" post after so many months. And, yes, I'm enjoying my life being a social worker for the elderly. In some cases, we are fortunate enough (may be not for them) to be their only [or very few] support until their end of life. What's life to me? To help the others to live in dignity and contentment and to make myself happy. And thankfully I know what can make me happy. n_n

By the way, no work on Monday!! It's Martin Luther King's birthday!!! n_n And I'm happy now.

=___=

2010-01-11T21:01:00.003-05:00

I went to an Indian restaurant to take away my lunch this afternoon. I was too lazy to cook last night.

As the American food portion is incredibly large, I asked for less rice. So the guy put some rice in the plastic box and looked at me for approval.

"Err... A little bit more please." I said.

And he added some rice.

I looked at the box again and looked at him again.

Then he added some more and said: "This is not less rice, it's the usual portion."

OMG!!! Eh, uncle, this is not the usual portion in an American standard lah!! I swear it's not, even I'm a "heavy rice consumer." Oh by the way, I had lamb curry, cabbage and potatoes.

The lunch was really filling. So I fried half piece of the salmon I bought yesterday for tonight and lunch for tomorrow. I only had an apple and a very small part of the fish with mayonnaise. How small? Hmm... About 1 1/2 of the volume of my brother's mouth? Haha... Forgive my distorted illustration.

I can feel my stomach is now fighting really hard to digest the food in it. Now I'm wondering it's the food portion or it's the meat? I think being eating less meat and more veggie does some how make me feel ill when I chew on the meat. Haha... Or it could simply be my cooking skills. :P

Haha... Let's see if I will be a semi-vegetarian and join si-ti-fe-ni's group. ;)

2010-01-09T21:34:00.003-05:00

大马发生了好几宗焚烧教堂事件后的几天, 我才肯上星洲查看最新情况。毫无以外的，并没有看到太多消息，只有政治家白痴的辩驳。

说来我也好久没看大马新闻了，采取的是鸵鸟心态-不听不闻不看。我爱大马，可是我这热爱的国家为什么能搞到教堂被焚烧的地步？本以为只有一间，可是连着的骨牌效应，看来大家有的烦了。是否真的要再来个五一三，通过暴力才能解决问题？从好的方面来看，这是黎明降临前的黑暗，只有过了那最黑暗的时刻才能迎来光明。放屁！

我不懂政治，也不知道真的该把罪推给谁。怎么我最爱的国土病得如此厉害？那是一块养育我的水土，上面筑着我最亲爱的家人朋友的家园。

唉，不要想了，只会让自己更揪心，所以也真只能当只鸵鸟。

算啦！讲点开心的！！昨天做家访时受到了一封红包，一番推辞后还是得收下。虽然受到长辈们的祝福和肯定我很开心，但是收下后还是会很不安。

另，昨天一个老伯伯在家里去世了，恰好他去世没几个小时后就打电话到他家里，那噩耗是他太太告诉我的。听了后心里沉甸甸的，工作了近七个月，手头上有四位长者辞世，第一位在他过世前一个星期通过电话约家访，第二位见过两次面，第三位和他护理几次讨论他的状况，最近的一位也常和他太太联络，几个月前还为他准备了免急救、插管的表格，没想到这么快就用着了。

当时受到这么新鲜热辣的消息是真的愣了一下，接着着手善后他档案。何谓长者社工？是否是档案管理员的代名词？分类橱里那一份份的档案就足以勾勒出他的一生？说来汗颜，我们的职衔还真叫档案管理员（Case Manager）。

当工作得有点烦闷时再想想我们所负的任务，觉得我也已无愧于儿时的理想。

若有台时光机，我会跟那小小的人儿说：我会继续努力的，你也是！

二零一零年一月三日

2010-01-03T22:28:00.008-05:00

又跨了一年，来到了二零一零年。反应迟钝的我现在才登陆此地。为了除旧迎新，当然也不能免俗地回顾加展望。

且看看千禧年的首个十年我到底干了什么。

2000 [起点] - 升上中学 + 转了一次学校；还记得转校后的第一次数学考试我的考卷少了最后一面，结果除了那一面的试题其他统统拿满分，对数学白痴外加粗心的我可是大事一件。

2001 [试飞] - 当上巡查员/纪律股长；遇上一个很关照我的历史老师，我已想不起她叫什么名了；夙愿得尝地参加辩论比赛。

2002 [遇上气流] - 考完PMR；在妈咪的询问下，开始考虑中四的选系和以后的升学问题；当然，这一年也是很多起落的一年。

2003 [暗涌] - 终于还是选了理科班，一个月后在无法兼顾之下放弃了会计学；正式投入华文学会里的活动，筹备当时觉得很了不起的联欢会，还穿着旗袍当司仪。下半年开始为SPM进入浴血奋战的备战状况。

2004 [低空飞过] - 一路跌跌撞撞的升上了中五，在众多“贵人”的帮助下还是有惊无险的过关了，和当时的战友各奔东西，也结束了马来西亚子民在法律上必修的十一年教育；这一年的我一直在想是否真的跑去念心理学，以后要干什么，念college是的我会是如何，等等。

2005 [转机] - 终于还是去HELP念了心理学，重新建立在新学校内的社交网络。

2006 [添油] - 这年很重要，潜睡的狠劲儿终于被激发了，非常非常非常的有上进心；一个勇敢的我；因为制服而加入了PSG；搬家。

2007 [全速直飞] - 火力继续全开；四月间参加了HELP的下乡服务；开始为第一次长期离家而准备。

2008 [飞跃国度] - 新的一年的第十几天来到了一个冰天雪地（还真的是童叟无欺的冰天雪地）的陌生国度；第一次寄宿学校；加入国际学生组织-ISO；组织road trip和朋友天南地北的乱窜。

2009 [乘风破浪] - 壮烈地结束了一年半的大学生涯，当中有念书、打工、尝试挑战不同的机遇、和朋友吃喝玩乐；一手包办妈咪和老弟在美国的行程；亲身体验美国第二次的经济大萧条 Great Recession并且很幸运的和本地人的竞争中存活下来，找到一份很有意义的工作；像只无头蝇地为继续深造投表；在一个陌生的城市80%独个儿生活了七个月，20% 有朋友、房东夫妇和同事的协助。

还有大概十天便是离家满两年了。

想家吗？想。
这里顺心吗？顺心。

今天冒着风雪出门买菜时对这种讨厌的冬天厌倦极了，不喜欢出门前要花上十分钟装扮，出门后还要和这种蠢天气格斗。一个人生活有不同的体会。家务（也只有房间啦）买菜煮饭洗衣烫衣全一手包办。要记得多买蔬菜水果，煮菜少油少盐少糖，多喝水和牛奶，少吃快熟面多煲汤，生病要吃药疼惜身子，出门要保暖，上班缴房租要准时，工作娱乐要均衡，到哪要注意个人安全。

总括来说，就是不要让家人担心，要好好照顾自己。

一个人，我的生活也可以很有规律，很健康，而且恐怕是有过之而不及。

也因为一个人，有更多的时间和空间重新审视自己，认清方向，对做人的哲学也有一番不同的体会。

这崭新的一年，我要：

-每天吃一种水果
-买菜尽量不买肉（一个月顶多买一次）
-办事要既重量也重质

我的工作证会在六月卅日结束，毕业后的第一份正职亦会告一段落。接下来的可能会是深造，续约或回国。答案会在五月份之前揭晓，在这之前当然继续上班和休闲。

二零一零年，会是怎么样的一年呢？

是当一个P牌大人的一年。

*一面打着这篇缠脚布一面听着myfm，电台里说今天是莘莘学子们的开学日，穿制服摸黑搭校车的日子像是很久远的事了，可是又近得仍能感受那份上学的热闹和喜悦。Myfm似乎觉得刺激我得不够，还播首新年歌给我听。

无论如何，我也会秉持着大无畏精神迎接这一年。

Christmas Photos!!

2009-12-30T18:04:00.013-05:00

Tang Yuan bought from Chinatown for Dong Zhi festival. My cousin from Massachusetts and friends from Bemidji all arrived NY on the same day. We all went to a Malaysian restaurant for dinner. And of course Tang Yuan as dessert. ;)

Xinjiang satay as supper!

Touring the Bemidji friends around NYC in the Christmas weekend.

Around Rockefeller Center.

The Museum of Modern Arts. I think I should go back 100 years 'cause I don't understand the arts at all.

Group photo at the museum.

In front of Metropolitan Art Museum.

It's such a huge place. We barely covered 1/3 in 1 hour, although we were almost "speed-walking."

Now I understand why girls in the older days are so "lady." How "wild" could you be living in such place? Everything looks so fragile. Even I can be a lady. XD Haha..

Reminds me of Julian's Intro. to Western Civilization back in HELP.
Special exhibition of the month in the museum - The Japanese Samurai.

My favorite. My mouth was wide opened when I stepped into this exhibition room and saw the HUGE wall painting.

I wonder where they "got" this from.
A Greek statue.

Century 21 - near ex-World Trade Center.

In the park opposite WTC.
The Stock Exchange Center. Met Chloe here. She's also a Bemidji State U. graduate and now working in Chicago.

The Wall Street Bull.
Grand Central. Functions like our KL Central, with much older history and better preservation of its original architecture. The ceiling is hand-painted with the 12 zodiac signs.

Special laser performance on the ceiling only on Christmas. I might upload the 5-minute video next time.

Bryant Park.

Handmade popcorn from Bryant Park. Yummy~

Original - spicy cajun - cheesey caramel
The Christmas atmosphere in Rockefeller Center is awesome!

Another special light performance only on Christmas - Rockefeller Center.

The famous Porridge Village in Chinatown for dinner/supper!

The Museum of Natural History. I paid to go for the special Silk Road Exhibition. Great experience. They even displayed real silk worms. But no photography was allowed. :(

Err.. The shopping center at Columbus Circle. I don't know the name. ;P

Another food tour! The famous Joe's Shanghai soup dumpling, which even Ang Lee was here for the dumplings!

I'll be going to the Times Square's Year 2010 Countdown after work tomorrow. Wish me luck. It's going to be so cold and I'll bundle myself up like a dumpling!!! XD

New York City

2009-12-30T17:40:00.004-05:00

Part of the Eight Avenue (one of the famous shopping areas in NYC) was closed this morning. I heard people saying smoke coming from one of the buildings but I saw none. Only a small smoke (let's assume if there's some) but there were like 10 fire trucks standing by on the street. I guess they can't afford to let the fire spread to the other expensive stores?

Even paramedics were ready.

I still remember not too long ago I was thinking if one of my clients lives in the apartment facing Central Park? Here's one today. His apartment faces right opposite Central Park South and next to the Columbus Circle. He said he can view the Macy's balloon parade from his living room and touch the balloons by simply opening the window.

It's true. I sat next to the window and I could clearly see what the people are doing in the entrance! I was thinking if he sees me too when I was taking my photos downstairs after work. Cheh! See ma see lah!!

Columbus Circle.

A bigger picture of Columbus Circle.

Ukulele Boy II

2009-12-29T21:08:00.003-05:00

I know I'm such a stalker, but I can't stop browsing this little boy's videos. He just cheers my every second up! XD

这就是所谓的童真吧？嘻嘻。。来，给我笑一个！[咔嚓!!] n_n

Ukulele (yoo-ku-leh-leh) boy - Jason Mraz's I'm Yours

2009-12-28T18:53:00.005-05:00

When I say it's cute, it's cute. I spent my past 1 hour browsing this little cute boy's videos. How cute he is... Muahahaha...

He's the new HIT on youtube. You have to check this out:

*I love his itchy nose. n_n

Oh boy, I'm yours!! (sounds so wrong..)

Campbell soup 1 + 1

2009-12-26T21:38:00.003-05:00

It's been raining almost the whole day today. Oh yeah, raining in the winter. What's better than having a bowl of hot Campbell soup in this rainy day after waking up from a 2-hour nap at 8.30pm?

First can of Campbell is the oyster stew. I only knew it's just 3 oysters in an unknown watery "soup."

Next I added the next can - Campbell mushroom with grilled garlic soup.

In a conclusion, 1 + 1 = 2. 2 cans of Campbell in one bowl.

And now, I have 1/4 more to go.

**Having a bowl of hot soup when it's raining out there is heavenly goooood. Try it.

***Disclaimer: The author has no intention of advertising for any brand previously mentioned above though the name appears n times. ;P

****Haha... I'm not done with this post yet. I had a wonderful Christmas week with my cousin and friends visiting from 2 states. The internet connection now is even slower than my current waking brain wave. Hopefully I'll upload them before next year, or this will be my 2010 resolution. XD

*****Since it's too late to wish Merry Christmas right now, HAPPY NEW YEAR then.

******Oh yes, I'm finally done. I'll let u go.

Food 2!!!!!!

2009-12-21T21:09:00.007-05:00

Deng deng deng deng..... Korean noodles with spicy sauce (instant one lah...)

Other than the noodles and sauce, others are homemade -- fresh cucumbers (leftover from last week's sushi) and carrots, fried gong yu zai and dried tofu.

This is how it looks like after mixing the ingredients together. The photo was automatically arranged this way no matter how I rotated it in my original copy. Well, you need to turn your head then...

Hoho... I have no idea why I suddenly get so hardworking... I have written 6 posts since last Monday. Almost 1 post per day. This means you're very lucky... Hiak hiak hiak... May be I should make it up to a total of 140 posts before 2010?? Aiyoh... 4 more to go only mar... ;)

Food!!

2009-12-20T20:25:00.004-05:00

My landlady was preparing for an early Dong Zhi feast with her family and her brother's family this afternoon. Handmade fish balls (reminds me of the Malaysian Fuzhounese fish balls) and handmade shi guo （米十果). I never miss any chance to try new food!! She gave me five shi guo's and I had it for lunch and snack before dinner.

Mr. Landlord said it's similar to the Cantonese Cin Dui （煎堆）, but this is grounded pork with peanuts, spring onions and brown sugar wrapped with mashed sweet potatoes. Its taste is a perfect combination of of salty and sweet. Yummy!!!

By the way, I wonder who Dianne is. I have been getting calls from strangers asking for Dianne on and off since I got this phone number May last year. The oddest part was just now. I got the first call asking for Dianne and the next one coming in 1 second later for the same person. Haha... Both of the callers were guys. May be they're this Dianne's boyfriends and just found out that she's cheating on them. XD Hoho... I'm too imaginative...

10 hours later

2009-12-20T12:11:00.003-05:00

This is how the street looks like 10 hours after I took the photos of it. I woke up at 9.30am and walked to the laundromat 2 blocks away to do laundry. I should have done it yesterday morning before the storm but I was simply lazy. n_n" The snow on the pedestrian walk wasn't cleared when I walked out this morning. Walking to the very end of the street you see in the picture was a little adventurous. Luckily the residents shoved the snow off the way when I got back.

See the white car in the right corner? It's almost covered by the snow.
It's Dong Zhi 2 days from now. Friends from Bemidji who were supposed to arrive in NYC today can only arrive on Tuesday due to flight rescheduling as a result of the snow storm. My cousin will also be coming from Massachusetts. What a good timing. I should start researching where to bring them for Dong Zhi dinner.

Busy week

2009-12-19T18:58:00.013-05:00

Case Management Program's party in the Monday afternoon, our foundation's Holiday Party in the Tuesday evening and ice skating at the Bryant's Park on the Wednesday after work. I didn't even have the time to cook in the entire week 'cause I had too many events going on!! n_n

Dec. 15, 2009 (Tuesday)
I had Singaporean chow mai fun for lunch. It's not the one we have in Malaysia. It's fried with curry powder, char siew, chicken and shrimps instead, but it's good!. My co-worker Christina sitting next to me asked for my suggestion for lunch. So I recommended one of our favorite dishes and I guarantee 99% of Americans will like it (even if the chef cooks as bad as me). The food gave me a shock when she brought it back from the restaurant. WalauA!!!!! This is the worst Americanized Chinese food I ever seen. Guess what's this?

Sweet and Sour Chicken!!!!!!!!!!! The syrup-like sauce is the sweet and sour sauce that you dip with the chicken. Man, these people are way too creative.... Christina saw how surprised I was and she said she expected it this way and she likes this. OMG!! So the chef didn't screw the dish, but I did, I suppose?

Tik tok... Tik tok...

Finally the clock ticked at 5pm!! This was one of the very few times our director sends us an email stating that the office will be closed sharp at 5pm. Well, all of us in the back room were ready by 4.57pm! ;P

15 of us heading to the subway station. We were like school kids going on a trip. Everyone was so excited and who cares how the others look at us?

The express train was already crowded before the door was open. There's no way all of us are going to squeeze into the same train.

Instead of squeezing ourselves in the express train, the rest of us made into the local train (which took us almost an hour instead of 30 minutes). But we din't need to squeeze and we got a seat!!

The party had started when we arrived at 6pm.

Group photo for the Case Management Program. Not everyone came to the party but here's the majority of us. The only 3 Chinese-speaking case managers are here - Davina, Persephone and me. 3 youngest case managers in the office (22 years old) - the only 2 girls with glasses (me and Persephone) and the only guy (Will) in the picture. The lady in green is our director (Amanda). Barri (in a white jacket and black shirt) is 1 of our 2 supervisors.

Is that me or the staffs in my office don't look like their age? They look younger than they do. But somebody in the office thought I'm at the same age as her.... Well, not too bad... She's 25... Haha... I really want to look more mature/older working in this office 'cause we're dealing with folks older than 65. I can't imagine a 22-year-old assessing my needs and physical condition when I'm 80. Anyways, our program was the biggest winner of that night. 5 out of 16 of us won the lucky draw gifts - a 16" flat screen TV, Wii, camera, Macy's gift card and iPod. I was 1 of the 16 but not 1 of the 5. ......

The dance floor was open after the lucky draw. They had already started helping themselves with alcohol at the bar. I had a Coke! ;)

Our program was too outstanding this year. After sweeping away the 5 gifts, all of us were on the dance floor, occupying half of it. Will, Barri and myself are the 3 pillars among them. These people couldn't believe this is my first dance party in U.S. Hoho... I didn't tell them this is also the third dance party in my life - one in the 2007 HELP ADP/Psychology Dept. prom and second in the club after the prom.

Dec. 16, 2009 (Wednesday)
Davina planned for this ice skating at the Bryant Park a week ago. It's the only free ice skating rink in NYC if you have skate shoes. Shoes are rented for $12 for an unlimited time.

The waiting area.

The rink is temporarily built on the grass during the winter.

The park is surrounded with sky scrappers.

I started off by holding on the rail for about half an hour. You know people say you can only learn when you're not afraid to fall? Not this one for me. I was very careful, watch my steps very closely and move my skates very consciously. Of course, I came in prepared!! I had my knee guard on under the jeans.

Off the rail after that!!! With zero fall in the end!!!
Anna, Davina and Lillian. Lillian left the office 2 months before I came in. I'm now taking over her clients and job in the office.

Free coke products given out at the exit. It's the new mini coke - only 222ml with 90 calories per can. Oh wait, am I doing free publicity for coke?

The famous (or maybe not) handmade (that's what advertised in the newspapers) popcorn!! There are many different flavors. I got myself the Spicy Cajun BBQ popcorn.

We went to the Red Lobster for dinner.

Served with biscuits as starters!!! Yummy... This is a must-try at Red Lobster.

My wood-grilled chicken and scallop with rice. I had met my lobster limit for this week. No more lobster.
I arrived home at 11.30pm with a extremely full stomach and tired legs. How amazing I was when I managed to drag my body to work the next day.

Dec 19, 2009 (Saturday)
Finally here comes the long waited weekend. 3 batches of friends (from St. Cloud, Bemidji and Massachusetts) will be coming to NYC.

A snow storm was expected to hit the East coast inclusing NYC today, which will also be the first snow fall in New York city.

I was on the street witnessing the first snow of this winter (I was there too when it first snowed in Bemidji last year! How lucky!). It started with very tiny little snow flakes. You can't see it from the photo yet (taken with my phone). Suspecting I'm already back in Malaysia or I'm in China when you're looking at the photo? Told you, I live in China. Haha... I'm so going to miss the food here. Well, I am already...

Not realizing it could turn out bad with the small little snow flakes, I ordered 2 Xinjiang "satays"- 1 chicken and 1 lamb (on behalf of 940 as I was talking on the phone with her). Hehe...

See the red chilly powder? Extra spicy chicken "satay". No pork satay 'cause the food is originated from the Uighur ethnic group (維吾爾族) in Xinjiang, China. Most of them are Muslims. This will be my top missed food when I leave this place.

When I was biting on my second stick, the storm started - more snow and stronger wind. (You know how slow I eat, especially when it's delicious!). As soon as I finished my last bite (not too soon afterall), I fast-walked back home with my runny nose (I ordered for extra spicy!!) and freezing hands.

Snow was accumulating on the floor within 20 minutes after I saw the first few snow flakes on the streets just now. How can I miss this first snow fall? I went back to my room, grab my camera and got out of the house.

Have I shown you the place I'm staying yet? See the balcony (second floor) with the orange cardboard stating room for rent? I stay in one of the rooms in the unit. I live with the family of my landlord who collect rent from the units on the basement, first, second and third floor. Mr. and Mrs. Landlord are very friendly and nice people. Mrs. Landlady's surname is Yang too! They emigrated from Fuzhou, China and they speak to each other in the family in Fujianese (we'll call it Fuzhounese). I listen to the language everyday...

Well, the winter is now officially started in NYC.

博君一笑

2009-12-16T23:52:00.005-05:00

地点：公司
时间：中午
人物：我隔壁的同事 - 以下称 C

C 正在处理信件。话说她把信塞进信封内后用舌头直接往信封的接口处一扫，然后眉头一皱，说：

"Eww!! This envelope tastes weird!!"

哇塞！！！信封上的浆糊还要做成个像样的味道吗？？？老板，信封不是用来舔的。。。老天她还真能骂得这样理直气壮。。。

我刚好正要站起离开座位，跑到橱后面使劲地狂笑。还好当时没人在偷看我, 不然一定以为我这个马来西亚人是痴线的。

现时为午夜00：28. 一小时前才回到家，冲完凉后准备睡觉。今天下班后跟同事到 Bryant Park 溜冰，就是上次扮文艺看交响曲的地点。照片下回见！！

Office Party!!

2009-12-14T20:46:00.009-05:00

Year end's coming!!! Although social workers receive no year-end bonus, but at least we still have the office party as everyone does!! ;)

It was a potluck party. I wanted to make agar-agar "kononnya" to publicize Malaysian food a bit; but I couldn't find the ingredients in the store. Guess what I made? SUSHI!!!!

I know, what a betrayer I am... Eh, I spent 2 hours standing in the kitchen rolling up the sushi okay?!!

All case managers in the office signed up for the Secret Santa. Too bad our asst. director is sick (she;s also my supervisor) and our director and the other 2 supervisors were not playing. The party was held in the conference room right next door.

Here comes the foods!!! (See my sushi in the picture??)

There's 1 director, 1 asst. director, 2 supervisors, 14 case managers and 3 case aides in the office. Most of us are in the photos. (Going clockwise around the conference table)

I'm the secret Santa for Rafael! He's one of the only 2 male case managers in the office. I was thinking of getting something suitable for his children, but I ended up with a gift card from the Whole food store. AND, I went out to get it 10 minutes before the party started and got back 15 minutes late. Kill me... I tried to hunt for something in the weekend. On a lovely Sunday morning spending 30 minutes walking on the street not knowing what to get. Now I know how it feels when you're getting present for those who wrote "anything" on the wish list!! Rafael and I are the 2 idiots!! (Luckily he's not going to see this!! :P)

Rafael making the guess of his secret Santa.

My secret Santa - Davina!!!! She's the big sister who vows to turn me into an American gangster! Haha... Guess what she got for me?

FOOD!!!! Actually I wanted to write "any type of food will make me happy" on the wish list, but I thought writing "anything" would be a better surprise. Davina, I salute you!!!! This is the best Christmas present I ever had!!! Muahahahaha!!!

By the way, it's a Chinese style fried lobster!! It looks like one whole lobster lying in the box!! Yummy~~~ See what the gangster wrote on the paper? All of them laughed when they saw the words. I guess they already know this Malaysian Chinese girl is all for food?? XD

Since I had my camera with me (isn't it rare?? And did I mention I finally got myself a 8gb memory card?), I took some photos after I finished my home visit in Greenwich Village. It was only 5pm but it's already so dark. My second winter in US.

Accidentally found the huge Pride flag hanging on the building while I was on my way to the subway station. This should be the GLBT activity center.

My dinner!!!

I think I'm having a lobster overdose syndrome right now. I can feel the cholesterol level is up above my head... Wakaka!! I therefore certify this is a whole lobster, 'cause I ate from the head to tail.

There's another party after work tomorrow. It'll be our agency's party organized in 1 of our senior housings. I heard that there's raffles for iTouch (last year) and etc. And, my co-workers were openly planning to get me drunk tomorrow because they still don't believe I'm allergic to alcohol.... Poor them, they're going to be disappointed... Let's see who's getting high then... Hiak hiak hiak!!

无药可救。。

2009-12-09T20:57:00.003-05:00

昨晚准备晚餐时就想好了今晚的晚餐 -- 白饭配午餐肉片！！把切成刚刚好厚度的午餐肉放入锅里煎，外皮香脆，里边厚实，简直是白饭的最佳搭配！！当然，我还没忘记冰箱里躺着的那盒江鱼仔炒矮瓜和马铃薯片，加热后一并吃下肚子。呵呵。。。午餐肉果然不同凡响，吃完了还溢齿留香。。。

好啦，吃饱喝足以后，当然得洗盘碗。同是房客的大姐说请我吃她包的饺子，说是她来美国这么久才第一次包的饺子，还说谢谢我给她翻译英文书信。

一阵客气后还是很给脸地接了那碗白菜猪肉饺子。

一看，老天！！！！七粒咧！！！而且还是大大粒的七粒饺子！！！我简直可以当另一餐配饭吃得饱饱了！！！不早点讲？大不了我明晚才吃白饭配午餐肉。。。

结果，吃了第一粒后，管不了这么多，把其余的也送进口里了，完完全全忘了十分钟前还站在体称上的我。。。一句话，好吃！！！

呜呼哀哉！人家刚才回家前好不容易抵住了新疆铐鸡肉串的诱惑，现全功尽费了。。。

呵呵。。可是饺子塞进嘴里时还是觉得暖暖的，冬天吃水饺果然不一样。我在这儿住了近七个月，用了人家大姐大哥（大姐的老公是不是该叫大哥？感觉怪怪的。。）的刀板大刀，好不容易才在几个星期前将功补过，帮她翻译书信。翻译文件时，我心里还想：怎么我酱像古装戏里的那些代写书信的落魄书生？？Choi choi choi!! 才不是落魄！！

当东西有得比较时才会觉得拥有的不再是理所当然。我觉得看得懂英文（厉不厉害是另一回事啦。。）不是什么大不了的事，可是能以己所长助他人所短还是件开心的事。帮了那大姐第一次后，她都不再那么生疏，有事时就“小姐　小姐”地找我帮忙。帮她之余还要记得打扫落满地的鸡皮疙瘩。。。其实屋里除了房东太太很亲切地叫我巧彤以外，房东先生和那“大姐”两夫妇都叫我小姐。TMD... 感觉上我好像在操守某一份职业的。。。

没办法，可能房东先生和那位“大哥”叫我名字会更怪。可是我也从来没问过这中国（朝鲜族）大姐叫什么名字，碰面时仅仅是很礼貌外加甜甜地一笑。好啦，这次拿了人家一碗热腾腾的饺子，终于问了人家大姐的名字。她的答案让我的下巴差点掉近碗里！！

“我叫Jenny。”

哇塞！！我还在想象个中文名字，又或者是个韩文名字（她讲中文时还是带着浓浓的韩腔），竟然来个Jenny？？那位大哥则在灶边看着我俩憨笑。可是我还是没问大哥叫啥名，我怕他跟我讲他叫Peter！！　哈哈。。下次再算啰。。

今天，这一碗饺子拉进了我和这两位房客的距离。

却也拉大了我和52kg目标的距离。。。。　=____="

Thanksgiving

2009-12-06T17:01:00.005-05:00

Hahahahaha... I know Christmas is on the way and I shouldn't be talking about Thanksgiving right now...

Thanksgiving's Eve was Chee Wei second last day in US as he'll be heading home after that. If you've already seen the NY Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on TV this year, I was there!!! (the night before) :P We all (who else, Me, Chee Wei, Teng Seng, Cindy, Yi Fang, and Chee Wei's friend who is also a senior from HELP, err.. I think her name was Jasmine but she didn't get to make it to the place) went to the balloon inflation ceremony. Our plan was to have an early dinner in a Cuban restaurant in West Village around 6pm, then watch the ceremony, then eat porridge in Chinatown for supper!!!

So, everyone came from different place after work to meet up. We tried out our (for most of us) first authentic Cuban dish. The foods were great!! I love the rice!! n_n We all ate till so full and had some rice leftover. BUT, I still sapu them all!!! NASI NASI NASI!!!! No photos taken on the foods, all I had in mind was to take them all into my mouth!!! Haha... Group photo? Not in my camera. I was relying on my 32MB memory card in the camera, of course I need to save it to the last!!

Right beside to us was a Cuban man sitting next to the window, doing a live cigar making demonstration. No wonder the restaurant smelled like cigarette when we walked in - We were so close to the leafs. As we were eating, there were tourists passing by and watched him doing it. I guess this place has become another tourist spot??? Oh by the way, this restaurant was highly recommended by my co-worker/supervisor ("it's cooked as how my father does").

He was originally from Cuba and his family has been running this little cigar business for generations. He said the cigars are free for customers, Jasmine and Chee Wei got themselves some cigars and tipped him.

Uncle, am I so cute that you need to laugh at me?? ;)

Ehem... Yi Fang said I looked like a gangster sister 大姐大... Eh, where's my Bemidji gang, we can post the mou gan dou together!!! Hiak hiak hiak!!

Here we go!!! Balloon Inflation Viewing!!!! I thought it was done on the streets and no one would be there!! But it was soooooooo crowded!! It took us about 1 hour in the line before getting into the park for the balloon, Even we already "unknowingly" cut the queue right in front of the entrance. It was drizzling too...

One of the oldest balloon in Macy's parade. Since 1960's, I think. The lady with the loud speaker was briefing the visitors.

These balloons are huge!!!! Some are even being held in a big net, like this Sponge Bob's.

Ronald's new look!! According to Teng Seng, Ronald is going green and he's having a green scarf around his neck. The new look has started in Europe and soon will be in all other places wor...

PIKACHU!!!!!! I was surprised by how many parents and their kids know Pokemon!! I didn't expect for Pikachu!! Haha... My childhood hero!!! (If Form 2 is childhood) XD Who cares? I asked the rest of them to keep going while I made myself through the crowd to get a close up picture... The closer I went in, the more little kids around me... Hehe... I was too near, all I get is part of Pikachu's head and the Pokeball, and the toilet cubicle... :P

Finally, the best is always saved for the last!!! Everyone was here for the Spiderman!!!! It was back on the parade again after 6-7 years... Everyone was like: where's the spiderman, where's the spiderman, as we squeezed our way through.

We arrived at the place around 9pm and left at 11pm. Then, we went to the famous Porridge Village in Chinatown as planned. Hmm... Did I just say we were so full???? Haha... No photos... We were either too tired or too focus on the foods!!

After struggling for 2 hours, I decided to miss the Thanksgiving parade the next day. My legs were giving up on me, plus they said it always rains on Thanksgiving. I was a little bit regret when I saw the big sun shining on the road when I got out of the house in the afternoon for lunch. Haha... But still, we reached home almost at 3am!!! Who would wake up again at 8am for the sake of the parade?? Not me... Hehe...

Anyways, November is over. My co-workers were surprised too when I told them this is my 6th month in the office!! It feels like yesterday...

Well... Which means.... I HAVE 6 MORE MONTHS TO BE HOME!!!!! n_n

11/11/2009

2009-11-11T17:18:00.002-05:00

Less than 7 weeks before the year 2010!!! 50 more days to go!!!! This year has been a fruitful year. I graduated college, left Bemidji with a bunch of good friends, work like a cow, eat like a pig, and sleep like the Sleeping Beauty. What else can I say??

I met a client 2 days ago. She lives alone in a studio apartment. The room was a little messy but it was fine. She has arthritis in her legs and she walks slowly. When most elderly need to see their family doctor for a routine check-up every 3 months, she said she has not been seeing her doctor at least in the past 2 years!! Oh, I forgot about her age. She looks like in her late 70's or early 80's. I was so surprised that she was born in 1919 -- 90 years old!!!!

I'm not sure approaching into another year would mean anything to the 90-year-old lady. But at least I know what I'll do with the rest of my 50 days in 2009. I will work, sleep and eat as usual. Muahahaha!!!! Well, after studying real hard for 4 years, it's finally time to take a year off having my own sweet time, enjoying my life without assignments and exams. n_n

Oh by the way, it's November now!!! I've been working for 4 months and 11 days!! I have less than 8 months to head back home. Home = family + friends + food.

如有雷同，实属巧合。

2009-11-08T22:19:00.003-05:00

这八个字，好巧不巧，我的名字的谐音统统在里面了！！如有雷“同”，实属“巧”合。

呵呵，正所谓无“巧”就不成书嘛。不然为什么很多作家都爱用这八个字起头？看我名字取得多妙？

好了，小学六年的填鸭式教育一早过得不过了。我这才注意到，什么是“雷同”？？？会不会是错别字？该是“类同”吧？

不要紧，我过去四年可不是白念的，翻找资料本就是拿手菜！

网上词典《汉典》曰：

雷同 léitóng

雷一发声,万物同时响应。今泛指事物与人相同者

毋剿说,毋雷同。——《礼记·曲礼上》

世雷同而炫曜兮,何毁誉之昧昧。——《楚辞·九辩》

真佩服那个撰写这八个字的高人，“雷同”俩字要不时常出现在电影电视剧小说里，早就是个古得不能再古的字了！！鬼得空去用这两个字？？

今天学新词了！就像回到小学时期，因为学了个新的中文知识而开心！！连江郎都才尽，我早就屙不出什么文章来了。其实生活上也有很多冷知识有待发掘！！

假假文艺两下子

2009-11-08T12:36:00.005-05:00

呵呵。。很久没写些有点建设性的东西了。这次也不例外，没什么特别的。

8/10/09 星期四下午
报纸上说在Bryant Park有个Fall Music Festival什么的。连天上的小鸟也知道我的音乐细胞到哪里，可是我假假在这里也是半个旅客，加上电影August Rush里的那场压轴音乐会好像是在这里拍摄的，是应该去见识见识的。

所以当天下班后就带着朝圣的心情到达场地。哇，这些人还真会享受。诺大的一个草地上摆了零零散散的小桌子小椅子，他们要嘛坐在椅子上喝咖啡，要嘛就坐在草地上看书，顺便享受Brooklyn Orchestra 带来的交响乐。音乐会没有我想象中的正式，它随性、大众化很多，不会给人有种高不可攀的感觉。当然，也小型很多，毕竟是免费的嘛。反正都来了，我就装着一副旅客的样子，拿着相机到前面拍照。拍够后就找了张椅子坐下，摆起一副文艺的样子听歌。偶尔这么做也不错啦，四周围的人也是一副陶醉的样子，呼吸着草地的味道，听交响乐，最能松弛身心，更能帮助睡眠！听了三曲我便闪人了，费事睡着丢人现眼。。嘻嘻。。

25/10/09 星期天午后
十月和十一月份是Carnegie Hall 的中国艺术月，名叫《古今回响》。有很多很棒的演出，有朗朗、马友友、李云迪，还有其他的我不认识了。都要钱的，我比较有兴趣的是泉州木偶剧团和八大锤打击乐团，都是在我考试当天，没办法去。还好还能赶上星期天的张家华阴县皮影戏老腔，约了Teng Seng 吃了早餐后就过去排队看看。这场是免费的，说是要让艺术大众化嘛。

戏班，是华夏自古的人民文化精髓。庙会、红事、白事都会请戏团表演，是当代人的娱乐，其程度就像我们上网看电视逛街一样重要。戏团还有多种，有唱大戏的、拉皮影的、变脸，等等。在大马已基本失去这份文化传承，只有在盂兰节或九皇爷诞时才能看到，而且已日落西山，老一代看了会兴叹，中年一代看了会回忆儿时，我们这一代看不懂，再在小一代的长大点恐怕就看不到了。此景只有在中国较落后的村庄才会看到。

介绍张家华阴县皮影戏老腔的华裔展览策划人（英文curator比较贴切）用英文介绍说这戏班是她在中国发掘中华艺术时无意间发现到的。该戏班坐落于华阴县的张家村，戏班里绝大部分姓张，都有血缘关系。正业为农民，副业为跑戏班的，村里人会时不时找他们表演。他们鲜少与大城市接触，此趟是第一次坐飞机，越洋来到美国表演。

表演时，我一句也听不懂，唱的是正宗关中老腔，害得我和老外一样“听无路”。可是真得很震撼，主唱的人中气浑厚十足，所有人演的七情上脸。由于是免费的，40分钟后就在每个人的错愕中结束了。可是仍是很棒。呵呵，真希望也能像那curator同胞有机会去接触这种正苟延残喘的艺术。我的职业也不错啦其实！

万圣节快乐

2009-10-31T10:12:00.002-04:00

我家里的那只怪兽正在庆祝自己的节日，忙得不亦乐乎。想来已经切了生日蛋糕了吧？因为我打电话过去时快要拆礼物了。

又正式长大了一岁呵。不用我多说，你也会秉持着满腔热忱地追求自己的信念。无论如何，你老姐我还是以你为荣的、支持你的。

在这里仍得谢谢妈咪，含辛茹苦地支持着我们，让我们有机会去做梦，去逐梦，去筑梦。

好啦，祝你生日快乐！！没有准备生日礼物，我这里放个响屁隔空传给你好了！

自己来！！

2009-10-18T20:09:00.003-04:00

昨天煮了皮蛋瘦肉粥，加了两粒皮蛋，结果只两餐就吃完了，变成一天连扫两粒皮蛋。本人最爱吃粥，小时候的我从来不碰皮蛋的。第一次遇到这么爱吃皮蛋的人就在Bemidji...我们那两家的差不多所有人都抢着皮蛋吃。。

可是，为了煮出像餐馆的皮蛋瘦肉粥，没法，特地买了皮蛋来煮。

今天呢？我刚煮了生姜炒鸡肉加冬菇加绍兴酒，那叫什么？是黄酒鸡吗？从Chee Wei那里学过来的。可是他加绍兴米酒，不是绍兴酒。到底两者差别何在？一个白，一个黑。哈哈！！随便啦。。

为了让它够味，加了三分一支的绍兴酒，我也延迟半小时开餐。。还不错，能在弄久一点会更好吃。废话，我加了妈咪带来的冬菇咧！！是舍不得吃，可是不能让它等发霉呀。。虽然这里都有卖，可是感觉毕竟是不同的。。

该死的冬天还是来了。纽约的天气很白痴，净刮风下雨，明明才 7'C 却像零度。

我该去烫做工衣了，现在感觉有点热热的，是那绍兴酒和姜起效用了吗？呵呵。。

妈咪，我要是明天没拉肚子就证明没事，回去可以煮给你吃！！嘻嘻。。

TheFreeDictionary: Boredom

2009-10-04T23:05:00.002-04:00

Psychology

Boredom has been defined by Fisher in terms of its central psychological processes: “an unpleasant, transient affective state in which the individual feels a pervasive lack of interest in and difficulty concentrating on the current activity.”^[3] Leary and others define boredom similarly, and somewhat more succinctly, as “an affective experience associated with cognitive attentional processes.”^[4] These definitions make it clear that boredom arises not for a lack of things to do but the inability to latch onto any specific activity. Nothing engages us, despite an often profound desire for engagement.

There appear to be three general types of boredom, all of which involve problems of engagement of attention. These include times when we are prevented from engaging in something, when we are forced to engage in some unwanted activity or when we are simply unable, for no apparent reason, to maintain engagement in any activity or spectacle.^[5].

An important psychological construct is that of boredom proneness; a tendency to experience boredom of all types. This is typically assessed by the Boredom Proneness Scale.^[6] Consistent with the definition provided above, recent research has found that boredom proneness is clearly and consistently associated with failures of attention.^[7] Boredom and boredom proneness are both theoretically and empirically linked to depression and depressive symptoms.^[8]^[9]^[10] Nonetheless, boredom proneness has been found to be as strongly correlated with attentional lapses as with depression.^[11]

Although boredom is often viewed as a trivial and mild irritant, boredom, and especially boredom proneness has been linked to an amazingly diverse range of psychological, physical, educational, and social problems.

Philosophy

Boredom is a condition characterized by perception of one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking in stimulation. This can result from leisure and a lack of aesthetic interests. Labor, however, and even art may be alienated and passive, or immersed in tedium (see Marxism). There is an inherent anxiety in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances, it is accepted as suffering to be endured. Common passive ways to escape boredom are to sleep or to think creative thoughts (daydream). Typical active solutions consist in an intentional activity of some sort, often something new, as familiarity and repetition lead to the tedious.

Boredom also plays a role in existentialist thought. In contexts where one is confined spatially or not, boredom may be met with various religious activities, not because religion would want to associate itself with tedium, but rather, partly because boredom may be taken as the essential human condition, to which God, wisdom, or morality are the ultimate answers. Boredom is in fact taken in this sense by virtually all existentialist philosophers as well as by Schopenhauer. Heidegger wrote about boredom in two texts available in English, in the 1929/30 semester lecture course The Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics, and again in the essay What is Metaphysics? published in the same year. In the lecture, Heidegger included about 100 pages on boredom, probably the most extensive philosophical treatment ever of the subject. He focused on waiting at train stations in particular as a major context of boredom.^[12] In Kierkegaard's remark in Either/Or, that "patience cannot be depicted" visually, there is a sense that any immediate moment of life may be fundamentally tedious.

Without stimulus or focus, the individual is confronted with nothingness, the meaninglessness of existence, and experiences existential anxiety. Heidegger states this idea nicely: "Profound boredom, drifting here and there in the abysses of our existence like a muffling fog, removes all things and men and oneself along with it into a remarkable indifference. This boredom reveals being as a whole."^[13]

Arthur Schopenhauer used the existence of boredom in an attempt to prove the vanity of human existence, stating, "...for if life, in the desire for which our essence and existence consists, possessed in itself a positive value and real content, there would be no such thing as boredom: mere existence would fulfil and satisfy us."^[14]

Erich Fromm and other similar thinkers of critical theory speak of bourgeois society in terms similar to boredom, and Fromm mentions sex and the automobile as fundamental outlets of postmodern boredom.

Above and beyond taste and character, the universal case of boredom consists in any instance of waiting, as Heidegger noted, such as in line, for someone else to arrive or finish a task, or while one is travelling. Waiting for one's opponent to move in a chess game or similar game can be boring, but this is more often the case for spectators, hence the cliche regarding chess that for many amateurs it is like "watching paint dry."

Boredom, however, may also increase as travel becomes more convenient, as the vehicle may become more like the windowless monad in Leibniz's monadology. The automobile requires fast reflexes, making its operator busy and hence, perhaps for other reasons as well, making the ride more tedious despite being over sooner.

Causes

Boredom can be a symptom of clinical depression. Boredom can be a form of learned helplessness, a phenomenon closely related to depression. Some philosophies of parenting propose that if children are raised in an environment devoid of stimuli, and are not allowed or encouraged to interact with their environment, they will fail to develop the mental capacities to do so.

Most would agree that the fundamental cause of boredom is leisure, which of course implies that boredom is most problematic in a life which combines wealth with a lack of artistic talent and aesthetic values.

Boredom is often associated with adolescence, especially in suburbs, small towns, and other isolated areas.

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I know this is an extremely BORING post but I can't help posting this up. I never expected the definition of boredom is such long. Boring simply means boring!! But it's always good to know! ;)

《星洲日报》新加坡40%專科醫生來自馬 2009-10-05 08:30

2009-10-04T21:47:00.002-04:00

（雪蘭莪‧八打靈再也）檳州首席部長林冠英揭露他到新加坡招資引商時，驚訝發現新加坡的政府醫院約40%專科醫生來自大馬。

他贊揚新加坡愛才若渴，並打趣表示，若大馬能說服人才回流，新加坡將“垮台”。

“受過高深教育的人想移民國外，不是他們不想留在大馬，而是大馬不懂得愛才；只有重才、惜才、選秀才，大家才能發大財。”

也是行動黨秘書長的林冠英，週日（10月4日）下午為八打靈再也SS2區的“火箭餐廳”（Rocket United Cafe）主持開幕時，抨擊中央政府不懂得珍惜人才，只重用唯命是從的人士，導致大量賢能之士外流到新加坡。

他建議，大馬政府若要擊垮新加坡，只要招攬所有人才回流就能達到目標。

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大马人才外流是不争的事实，可万万没想到已到了这种程度。其实我们亲爱的马来西亚可以更先进、更强大的。真的只有各族同心，上下一致，以国为先，己私为后，才能让一个国家繁荣。可有多少个政治家做到了？马华的内乱还没乱完吗？显。。。

哦，今天是教师节吗？教师节快乐！！我的刘老师也教师节快乐！！嘻嘻。。

How many times can u do wrong in 2 days?

2009-09-25T19:48:00.004-04:00

I was so craved for a packet of potato chips this morning and the first thing I did when I got out of the train was to jet off to the shop to get a packet of those.

AND, I only found that I left my wallet at home when I was about to pay at the counter.

I went back to the office, took 5 minutes to warm my co-workers up and then asked to borrow money from them. 2 of them wanted to lend me $5 for lunch and Isaid not enough - I wanted $10!! n_n

So I got my $10 bill. It didn't take me more than 30 seconds to decide to go back to the same store, take the same packet of chips, and pay to the same person. The cashier smiled at me and said: you can pay it tomorrow. Cost: $1.00.

I think I have the tendency to do dumb things. 2 days in a row. Luckily no work tomorrow or that will be 3 days in a row.

In the afternoon, my co-workers said there will be a fair downstairs and the first thing I asked: Any good food?

Haha... Nothing great. I ordered a chicken pita and the darn thing cost me $7.00!! It doesn't worth the price although I have my favorite onions in it. Cost: 7.00.

This is the photo I took when I was about to transfer the 7 train to Flushing. The music was awesome and drew me to towards the crowd. The city usually spends some money to get good bands onto street performance so that more people could experience them. I rarely (almost never) do this, and I gave $1 for the performance. Cost: $1.00.

If anyone has tried Flushing's Xin Jiang satay will understand why I spent my last dollar on the "satay". It's so tempting and it takes me so much courage to only eat 1 stick per week. Cost: $1.00.

So I spent all $10 in eating today. Unusually overspending... Haha... It's Friday!! Employees' best day of the 5 working days!!! n_n

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One more thing that's totally out of the topic. My memories about baseball is Nobita and his friends playing the sports and break the windows of the next door in Doraemon and Pn. Helen teaching us baseball skills back in Form 4. I can never understand how can a baseball match be so insanely popular in NYC.

Thanks to Teng Seng who got unwanted Mets seasonal tickets from his company and brought Chee Wei and I to the game!! There is 2 baseball teams in NY - the Yankees and Mets. Mets baseball stadium is just 1 train station away from here.

It was a boring game and we left after the forth round. The Atlantic Braves got at least 7 homerun and Mets only got 2. No wonder none of the clients would rather not take the $120 ticket to the game. Too bad it was a boring game, 'cause the seat we got is within 20 rows up front. I'm still lucky - at least I get to enter the stadium that I pass by twice everyday and watch half of the game with my own eyes!! XD

It actually happens!

2009-09-24T20:32:00.003-04:00

Remember there's always jokes about wearing stockings of different colors on TV shows or movie??

I saw it LIVE today during the weekly training organized by Department of Aging for newbies that I have to attend today.

The person was wearing a dark gray stocking on left foot and a light gray on the other foot. The worst part is:

It was ME!!!!! And I only noticed that in the afternoon around 3pm!!

Please don't ask me how it happened. I was in a rush and I didn't really look at the stockings I put onto my feet!! *shy* hehe...

You know what? At least I noticed that. Isn't it an achievement already? Don't expect too much lah.... XD

Little Italy's San Gennaro Festival

2009-09-18T21:36:00.004-04:00

This is the event that has the most closely resemblance of our Malaysian PASAR MALAM!!! OMG!!!! So many types of Italian street foods waiting to fill up my stomach...

"The 82nd Annual Feast of San Gennaro, New York City’s longest-running, biggest and most revered religious outdoor festival in the United States, will be held Thursday, September 10, through Sunday, September 20, 2009, on the streets of historic Little Italy, the lower Manhattan neighborhood which served as the first home in America for hundreds of thousands of Italian immigrants who came here seeking to improve their lives beginning in the early part of the 20th century." http://www.sangennaro.org/ for more info.
Chee Wei got "auntie visit". I met with Chee Wei, his aunt and the friend in Chinatown for a quick and early dinner after work on 9/11. Then we headed to Little Italy for feasting!! They were pretty full but I purposely left a huge parking lot in my stomach to fill up those Italian foods!! I tried fried rice ball (topped with powdered cheese) and the Italian hot dog. The sausages were about half a meter long. I thought they are sold in one whole piece but they cut them into smaller sizes and stuff it into the "Delifrance bread" (what's that called?).

I chose the spicy sausage over the sweet sausage. It's huge and I was full after that.

And that's not the end YET. I got diarrhea for 1-night-1-day when I got home at 12.30pm. Stomach ached crazily and I didn't even have the strength to get up from the toilet seat and walk back to my room. I rushed to the toilet on average every 3 hours (5am, 9am, 12pm...) for countless time and almost slept on the seat. I flushed down 5 poh chai yuen in 24 hours and only get much better till Sunday morning. Whatever solid food (2 pieces of cookies) I took got flushed out. Now I know why I live in Flushing.

By the way, I missed witnessing the two giant white spot lights that were shoot up into the sky on the spot at where WTC previously stood at 7.11pm on 9/11. I was busy feasting and busy "flushing" that night.

When I was fully recovered from the nightmare, we (me, Chee Wei, Dickson) brought Arnold and Wai Kee who are visiting NYC to Little Italy for feasting on Tuesday night. I totally lost my mind for food!! What to do? I live to EAT. And guess what we ordered? Raw oysters? I seriously tak tau mati!! XD

The dark thingy in Wai Kee's hand is the oyster.

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I had the predictor dream again last night - having loose teeth. I can't help but blame the dental nurses when I was young for praising my healthy teeth. Now they become the bad dreams when I am unconsciously stressed up. Coincidence? Probably. But I am currently working hard to take the damn Graduate Record Exam (GRE) on Oct 24th. Memorizing vocabs and practicing maths like nobody's business.

The fact is: I am a truly nerd - 'cause I enjoy doing it! And now my co-workers know that I'm the poor girl who is allergic to alcohol, doesn't like chocolates and whose hobby is to sleep right after getting off from work. n_n

8th Anniversary of 911

2009-09-18T20:24:00.011-04:00

It has been 8 years since the terrorist attack of WTC. There are terms that we newly exposed to, then panicked of, and finally desensitized to such as terrorism, Osama bin Laden, al-Qaida, US-Iraq war and suicidal bombs.

In the morning of September 11th, my co-workers and I stared at the computer monitor and knocked our fingers on the keyboard as usual. I read on the free newspaper about the 911 memorial ceremony when I rode on the train this morning but only felt the subtle change of the atmosphere when I heard the morose music and fire truck's sirens ringing in the air outside of the restroom's window. One of my colleagues said that she has been listening to the radio the whole morning - President Obama was giving speech, representatives of survivors read an enormously long list of victims whose body was found or not found for three hours and Yo-yo Ma played his chelo at the background, etc.

I finished the lunch box I brought from home in 15 minutes and walked to Ground Zero (the spot at which WTC previously stood). The weather was gloomy and drizzling, probably was staged for the unforgettable day for not only Americans, but all of us.

NYPD's vehicles can be seen at almost every junction. You can see police officers every 10 steps, no kidding. I was wondering if I looked like a terrorist and stopped by one of them - just like when I was called for a random bag check. Worse still, I did not bring anything (no id, no money, nothing) with me other than the sweater. Hoho...

Posters were pasted on the wall along the corridor next to Ground Zero. And people left their messages to their loved ones (firefighters, polices, national guards, etc.) who sacrificed during the rescue.

People from all walks of life and all corners of the world left their messages.

This dude was "kind" enough to provide English translation of his Chinese message.

On this day, firefighters from different departments in NYC in their formal suits with tie, insignia and jacket walking all over the street. Oh, and some of them drank alcohol! You can sometimes tell from their breath... It's illegal to walk on the street drunk here...

The flags of the Land of Dream and Freedom were raised on the memorial corridor under the gloomy and windy day.

There is two long metal plates hung on the wall vividly illustrating the 911 event.

Only on today, 2 firefighters were sent to stand on each side of the memorial plate. It is so natural that your heart will sink down right away when you walk along the corridor. Tourists (including me in this place) spoke to each other quietly and took photos decently.

Except this dude in blue jacket. He was mumbling with lyrics (he wasn't singing at all) at the plates and was drunk. 2 cops arrived 2 minutes after that. He told them that he was singing to "them". Thank goodness that the Chinese Halloween was over or it might freak me out. Hehe...
In front of the World Trade Center Gallery.
World Trade Center Gallery.

A cool veteran. She was standing at the entrance in her dignity and perfect army posture and her jacket was shiny with her insignias. She looked like in her 60s.
The fire department right next to Ground Zero - the first NYFD to respond to the event and if not mistaken, the department that most of its members sacrificed.

Wonder how Ground Zero looks like? It's just like a normal construction site. Can't imagine this site was once the tallest building in NYC and the tallest building in the world many many years ago with the most dense population in a building throughout the city (or probably the country) that many New Yorkers still take pride of.

On my way back to office. More cops.

See the next photo for description.

Restoring faith and soul while reconstructing the physical destruction.

Last but not least, I finally remembered to take care of my image when I got back from outside. So I took a picture of myself as soon as I got into the lift to my office. Scary look but who cares? They thought I'm just another Chinese tourist in the big city...

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What's going wrong with us? Hatred for so many reasons yet so little we can do to resolve them. Challenging the status quo is never easy. When we are pointing our fingers to the radical terrorists for the destruction they bring to the world, have we given them a chance to speak? I hate but have to agree with Charles Darwin's the strongest fits saying.

In the subway trains I commute everyday, at least 1 out of 5 uses iPod, iPhone or Blackberry. When we are complaining about not having enough money to upgrade our gadgets to the latest fashion, how many in the world are struggling just to fill their stomach and don't even have their voices being heard?

And I was complaining about not being able to get online in the past one week. Suppose this generation like ours need the virtual world to complete our truly self?

滴答

2009-09-08T22:42:00.002-04:00

好久没滴答雨下了，天气已经开始转凉，城市中没有秋天落叶的景象，走在街上的人们仿佛在预备着两个月后的冬天。

冬天，一个久违的字眼。以前每次在下课回家的路上，总会慢慢、慢慢的步行，细细聆听脚下被踏得沙沙作响的厚雪，深深地吸一口气，再慢慢地吐出来，看着冰凉的空气在呼吸的瞬间被体温转化成一道白气从口中流窜出来。

流窜出来的，还有那隐秘的时间。沙漏卑鄙地在某个角落藏着其滴答细沙声，动脉努力地在血管里敲出滴答脉搏，明示着时间的流水无情。

无情的游子仍深处异乡，努力地记起家里滴答雨下的景象。

2-month follow up post

2009-08-29T23:50:00.003-04:00

I felt like updating this since weeks ago but really have nothing to write about. It's fast, I have been working for 2 months. Like how I need to call my clients every 2 months for 2-month follow up call, I feel like writing something about my job. My job has been great and interesting, as usual, and it has not bored me out yet. I helped translated some English forms into Chinese version too!!

It's eng of August now. I kept telling almost everyone here that college has just started, my friends are going back to school and their coursemate is not me. Hehe...

But I'm studying very hard too. Seriously going to re-take my GRE. Yes, re-taking. I enjoy doing maths and memorizing vocabs right now. I have no idea why. My life here has been no other than work, eat, study, read and sleep. But I love it! n_n

My time will be occupied by these till December, after the graduate school applications are all due.

By the way, I am 10 more months away from home!! Hohoho... I'm enjoying my work here and at the same time anticipating to be home. Truly home.

Satu Malaysia!!

2009-08-18T21:35:00.001-04:00

Berdiri teguh di bumi
Nyata pupuk semangat satu Malaysia
Sepakat rakyat didahulukan
Pencapaian diutamakan

Perpaduan mendapat rahmat
Toleransi kaum amalan bersama
Kejayaan kita bangunkan
Satu Malaysia

Dalam capai satu tujuan
Tanggungjawab kita semua
Jadi teras bangsa mulia
Kita bina Satu Malaysia

Korus:
Satu Malaysia jadi pegangan
Rukun negara teras panduan
Satu Malaysia benteng negara
Rakyat Malaysia taat setia

Ulang Korus (4x)

Satu Malaysia untuk semua

五十二周年国庆快乐！！！

莫拉克生存者的生死歷劫。。。[转载]

2009-08-17T22:36:00.002-04:00

Teng Seng 在台湾的朋友刚劫后逢生。以下是她电邮给亲朋戚友的内容：

所有關心我的親朋好友

別為我哭泣別為我擔心

我平安了我得救了

８月８日那天民權村那裡有些土石流

鄉長帶幾乎的人都過去支授

留了我們７個人和同事小孩

請我照顧一下

他們把所有民權的人蔬散但我們這裡村只是先勸離

以往我們這個村都沒什麼土石流

所以大家認為我們這裡最安全

之後三個村道路中斷。斷電。斷水

三個村完全無法彼此連絡

８月９日那天

一聲驚天動地的巨響

土石沖刷公所上方的民族國小再流入村裡

一瞬間民族村被滅村

當時我在洗頭

我知道土石流了，立刻土已經淹腳

我立刻爬到三樓看到鄉民。房子。車子。大石頭

流到我宿舍旁的崖下到大河中

我想我的宿舍應該也快衝到崖下

我想我一定要冷靜我一定要活命

我要想辦法活著出去

我不能讓我媽媽承受白髮送黑髮的痛

我抬頭看到我們課長（孕婦）

全身黑泥

爬出來

當是她在一樓上厠所

沒多久又看到她老公

她老公從鄉公所被沖到對面郵局

他肋骨斷了。手斷了。腳有傷口

還好掛在郵局沒被沖到大河

另個替代役在裡面睡覺在公所被沖到鐵窗而獲救

當時瓦斯嚴重外洩，隨時爆炸，要立刻徹離

我知道我一定要跳下土石中爬到鄉公所。我捉著電線

死命爬上公所，看到同事小孩和其他同事（共８人）

我爬上去才知道我們獲救的原因

是因為所有的超大石頭(跟房子一樣大）和大木材

全部都卡在公所在代表會和廚房中間

所以打到我們的土石是水是細石不是被大石正面打

我們是最南邊，但我們必需要越過最北邊的村莊爬到山上

但每一步都是舉步艱難每一步都可能會被沖到大河

每個地方都深過一樓房子或更高

後來有當地立刻自組的救難人員

回來看還有沒有生還者

看到我們

我們拚命爬到民房的屋頂

有的房子還看的到屋頂

我牽著那個小孩

但讓我行動更艱難因為他怕踩空把重量壓在我身上

好幾次我們差點掉下去

後來是其他男同事和救難的鄉民

幫我們走過

走過的同時都有聽到鄉民還有在叫救命

我的心真的揪在一起

但我們也只能先離開現場

救難的鄉民送走我們之後回頭才帶回他們

有個小朋友在屋頂上

他的肋骨和腳的嚴重骨折無法移動他

只好把他放在屋頂一夜又把他帶去山上

但那天晚上我不斷的當心如果又有土石流他怎麼辦

村民說那個小朋友的家人全部都被土石沖走只剩他

在黑暗中我們又爬到山上，中間要越過好幾個土石流過的支流

爬了好久爬到民族平台待著

我們有用衛星電話請直升機來

但遲遲沒有來

我們喝雨水，鄉民煮了很稀到不行的粥，大家分一點點吃

我們待在山上三天

風雨沒停過，不斷聽到土石流的巨響

我知道那裡也不能久留

每天我們在山上淋著雨

鄉民有下山拿些簡便逄搭

但實在風雨太大。我們依然是一直淋雨

那幾天我真的忘了現在是夏天

我只知道怎麼會冷成那樣

我們不斷的發抖

山上有３百多位鄉民在上面

有幾十個重大病患

還有很多孕婦。甚至有破羊水了

還有很多小孩

有的村民頭骨破裂，骨折。心臟病。糖尿病。大傷口。等

大家每個人幾乎都有受傷

傷口不斷淋到雨

不斷發炎，發燒

到了第二天開始有老人承受不住而往生

很多小孩和老人都是被家人從土裡救出來的

幾乎每個人身上都是土

我好氣為什麼飛機還不來呢

我知道可能是天氣不佳

但我真的好急，好怕受傷的嫏民再也承受不住

第三天我同事又回到鄉公所二樓拿另個衛星電話打

說山上雨比較小了，那天直昇機才開始來

但我們那個村的山上有３百多位生命汲汲可危的鄉民

直升機只能載五個人

如果是躺著的。。就只能載二三個

看著飛機一部部來卻不知道多久才能輪到自己

我實在不想在待第三個晚上無法睡繼續淋著雨的苦

而且雨永遠不願意停，難道真要趕儘殺絕嗎

那天開始空投食物。我真的不想要食物我只想下山

把所有重大傷患送走後

每一次飛機上來我們像難民爭著上飛機

已經不知道第幾部。等到第一部三十人座的軍用機

我求鄉長求村長讓我和那小孩也坐上去好不好

我們也有受傷，是外地的，我的家人不知道我是生是活

在那天下午３點我上了那台三十人的軍用機

我一上飛機我的情緒才漰潰，我無法止住我的眼淚

當我抬頭看到對面的鄉民看到我哭

很多人也跟著哭

我還在山上時問救難的鄉民

他說至少近三十個鄉民往生

也許更多

從飛機看下去真的幾乎都是土石流

我看不到小林，才知道他們全部都被土石沖走

直到旗山還是一樣都是土石流

才知道這次不只我們那麼慘

一下飛機

家屬也哭我們也哭，沒見到家屬的也哭。。大家要加油啊

到現場慈濟和社工及展望會給我們食物和衣服，住的地方

我很落魄很醜我很不想被採訪

但我真的很希望那裡的鄉民快點全部下山來

就想跟大家說那個村還有近三百沒下來

請儘快帶他們下山

所以接受三家採訪

直到第五天全部才下山來了。

當我媽看到我那殺那

她狅叫狅哭

媽對不起

讓妳無法睡那麼多天

還有所有擔心我的親朋好友

我～回～來～了

對不起讓你們擔心了

以前會想如果中樂透要怎樣過好日子

現在如果真的我中了。我一定會全部都給振災

我跑出來的時候。什麼也來不及帶

所有證件。錢，電腦。相機。。所有所有都沖到河中

但很多鄉民沖到土石中的是他們親愛的家

甚至親愛的家人。。我的算什麼呢。。

錢可以再賺但生命不能重來

未來的路還很長

所有的災民我們一定要堅強

要加油

也請各界給他們最大的支持

我今天到郵局匯錢到莫拉克的振災的帳戶

看到一個近８－９０的伯伯和婆婆

匯了近十萬，我很高興台灣人很團結

很有愛心

大家一起幫助他們再建家園

加油所有的災民

我們可以走過的。。一定可以

這二天我每看到電視必哭

我是很冷靜的人我不是嚇到

而是心疼災民和家屬

真的要加油哦

x x x x x x x x

我想写点什么，满脑袋和心里装得满满的，却腾不出空位把它们给整理出来。

所有受到影响的你们一定要加油！

Manhattan view

2009-08-01T09:47:00.005-04:00

From right: Teng Send, Chee Wei, me, Coule, Yi Fang

The Chosen One

2009-08-01T09:12:00.005-04:00

NYPD (New York Police Department) is the word that you'll see everywhere you go in New York City. Cops are in almost every subway station, Wall Street, Empire State Building, Times Square, Chinatown, roadside, etc. You name it, they have it.

It was a wonderful morning yesterday, because it was raining!! ;) When I got down from the stairs, as usual, cops again. Then the one standing just right in front of me said: Miss, random bag check. Please stand aside.

*Hoi!!!! Do I look like a terrorist? Or is this a racial discrimination??? Then I looked around, 90% of the crowd is Asian, it shouldn't be a racial discrimination.*

So I was directed to the table next to him and passed my bag to his colleague. The other cop took my bag and swept its strip and the main zip with a small square paper.

*Wah... Geng!! Some more got sterilization before opening my bag??*

He didn't open my bag. He placed the paper on a machine as big as a credit card machine and waited for a moment. Haha... I was so tempted to ask why they choose me...

Of course I was let go after that lah. Or else you'll see me on the newspaper in Malaysia today. When I told Chee Wei, Coule and Dickson/Teng Seng, none of them experienced it or witnessed it.

Well, like I said, I'm the chosen one. Hehehe...

It was still a wonderful morning after that. It's the 31st day of July and I survived through the first month in my first job after graduation.

I finally have the mood to upload some outdated pictures. I went to the Pride Parade in Manhattan and July 4th (US's Independence Day) celebration with Chee Wei, Coule and Teng Sen.

Pride Parade, June 28th
An annual and global parade organized by the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community in the month of June. Teng Seng and Cindy said the sponsors were not as many as previous years and the parade was not as exciting as those years.
Haha.. It was a bit boring. I squeezed myself out of the crowd to look for lunch after standing for 2 hours. I was so hungry and tired.

The beginning of the parade.

The 40th Anniversary of Stonewall incident, something to do with discrimination and riots, I think.
I didn't take many photos, memory card out of memory. I didn't take good photos but Teng Send did. Chee Wei was even more sui, his camera broke down 15 mins after that!! Haha!!

US Independence Day, July 4th
Teng Seng explained that this year's fireworks would be shown at the New Jersey side for the first time after 20+ years, in concordance of the 100th anniversary of the river. Don't ask me the name of the river, I forgot. So we went to the place near Yi Fang's house. Eh, we walked about 40 mins to the place because of road block, cops again. Some residents rented their house's parking lot for $25 before the road was blocked. Ki siao...

The view of Manhattan behind Yi Fang and I.

Itu Pua Chee Wei. Poor thing, the fireworks was great but he couldn't take photos because of his broken camera. Mine neither, because bad photography technique. Sometimes I rather save them into my memory than taking down photos.

吓死我也

2009-07-26T18:47:00.002-04:00

憋了一整天的雨终于肯下下来了，一整天都闷热的不行，都快要去冲个凉了!

老天好像知道我在抱怨，刚才平地一声好大声的雷电。

首先余光扫到窗外的一道闪电，再来“轰”一声很大声的雷声！！吓得我两只手都举过头寻求掩护。

哇！现在还心有余悸的。

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

无惊无险过了三个星期，工作很好玩，每天都有新鲜事。公公婆婆们都很可爱（虽然不是每一个都这么可爱）。有个婆婆的嘴巴最甜：你这么好人，祝你步步高升，身体健康，万事顺利。哈哈！！感觉像过年似的！！真的难免会有飘飘然的感觉。。。年轻人呵，定力还不够，被吃了很多盐和过了很多桥的公公婆婆们赞两句就很开心！！

这个周末休息得相当彻底，几乎足不出户。哈！足够应付接下来的五天了！

各位，我会加油的！！

天涯共此时

2009-07-24T20:19:00.002-04:00

不知道为什么，今天下班后脑海一直重播着邓丽君的《月亮代表我的心》。最恐怖的是，我还在喃喃自“唱”。回来后特地上Youtube重播这首歌。

后来才明白，是潜意识吧？今天是我老妈子的大日子咧！！

你问我爱你有多深你问我爱你有几分
...........
月亮代表我的心

虽然我已两年无法和你共度生日，但愿海上生明月，天涯共此时。

很肉麻也要讲的了，你是我们最最最深爱的人！！！！

妈咪，快点接我的电话咧。。。嘻嘻！！生日快乐！！

我爱你！！！！

n_n

2009-06-30T14:13:00.003-04:00

I am going to work tomorrow, arrive at the office sharp at 9am!!!! Which means I need to sleep way earlier tonight and wake up at 7.15am to get myself ready and catch the 1-hour subway to work.

*EXCITED!!*

They can take me in for 1 year and do not guarantee me for second year. That's good enough!! I can work, no need to worry about money, wasting my time doing nothing whole day long, checking job openings again and again.

Qian Wen, thanks for your wish!!! I really need to thank you for that!! I wish you the best too!!

No more job on July1st

2009-06-29T18:10:00.004-04:00

A terribly long week for me. It's 6.11pm now and I still haven't received any call from the director about my job. "Will inform you as soon as possible", that's what she said last Monday. No call yet - very unlikely that I will start working on July 1st. The agency needs at least 2-3 years commitment and they are reluctant to help OPT students like me to extend visas.

Well, I still have some tiny little positive hope for the job. July 4th is Independence Day. Probably they want me to start after that and that's why I still don't get the call.

Okay... Everything starts all over again. Look for job, send resumes, wait for calls. More than 80 resumes have been sent out. Yes, I can really tell you by my own experience that the market is really really tight.

More than 40 resumes were sent out after the uncertainty caused by the job. Still bitterly hopeful, for my own sake. I will keep it on! No worries. Hehe...

好命

2009-06-27T13:17:00.003-04:00

终于把两天前借的《霸王别姬》看完了。李碧华笔下的不是历史上的霸王别姬，是戏里戏外的霸王和别姬。可能自小看惯了比较旧式的小说，比起各类现代小说，我更喜欢旧式的文法。

简介中说那是一个男人对另一个男人泥足深陷的爱情。书看至一半时，我看看停停了好几次，故事发生在上世纪，一个离我不远的世纪，一个比我祖父稍早的时代，一个动荡的时代。不知是笔者隐喻，还是读者多心，我看到的尽是人民生活在那年代的水生火热。主角的情感是个幌子，故事的背景方是主线。笔者把当时的状况活生生的搬到纸上。

突然想起小学时问妈咪的一道问题：你怎么知道《三国演义》，《水浒传》等等是在暗喻当时的国事？明明讲的都是一出出紧张的情节。

现在明白了，在其他著作里也能举一反三。真的很庆幸自己不是出生于大陆，真的。那年代，我公公婆婆、外公外婆、他们的父母，都怎么活过来的？现在终于明白为什么在这里会看到一群群那么憎恨自己政府的中国人。

出国，果然让自己看到更多，明白更多，感恩更多。

不由得不承认自己好命。不曾经历天灾人祸，能够三餐温饱、完成学业、负笈国外，不是好命是什么？

之前定下来的那份工作有五十巴仙会告吹，因为我需要和他们签两到三年的工作和约。最快星期一能够知道答案。心情紧绷到不行。

和妈咪谈过后稍微好了点，有家人的支持是比较不同的吧？

《霸王别姬》我看得很沉重，还好是在这么一个紧绷的时刻阅读，负负得正，反而让自己轻松了。很感激，自己还能几乎事事如愿。

孤身来这儿，不就是冲着它的重重挫折而来，好历练一番才回家？

我来自新村

2009-06-25T00:03:00.002-04:00

在Youtube 闲逛，无意间发现好东西。我找过了，可惜没有关于淡江新村的。好怀念小时候新村的味道。。。

以下是Astro对安邦新村的播出片断。真好，开始有更多媒体注重本地文化痕迹了。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoANPyWCH94&feature=PlayList&p=8BC333283E124647&index=3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWu44iuxdQw&feature=PlayList&p=8BC333283E124647&index=2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_ro-4jBmzs&feature=PlayList&p=8BC333283E124647&index=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnSwDAempUQ&feature=PlayList&p=8BC333283E124647&index=0

*最近在闭关，详情容后再谈。