Ching Ming Festival

How interesting to listen to the two Chinese women in their near or early forties, sitting on the subway train, talking about their visit to the grave yard for Ching Ming in their fluent American English. I was amazed by the fact they still pay their visit to the grave yard, practice the tradition, and they were talking about the taboos (e.g., the "right" way to burn the paper money with a stick) which some of those are similar to Malaysian's.

When the native language is such an important element to identify one's ethnicity, losing (or not having) the ability of speaking the language allows others to assume you're losing your cultural identity. I must admit I'm one of those with these biases. You're of this ethnicity, but not. I'm wrong in many ways, but I'm amazed every time I encounter something that proves me wrong. Guess what, I don't speak good Hakka anymore, I'm not a truly Hakka besides the so-called Hakka blood in my body. Making a simple Hakka dish? I can't even name the ingredients for any of those. Oh wait, how about the Teochewnese inherited from my mother? Let's not go that far.

Fortunate enough, I share the same language as my beloved gong gong, assuming he speaks enough Mandarin (I think so) or I would retain my ability to speak fluent Hakka if he is still alive. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was 8. I have been wondering what kind of generation gap we would have if he is still alive. Would I be as clingy as I was, or would I be neglectful of him? There's no if. I am glad I get to do my part to many others like what I would be doing if gong gong is still alive.

I can't give you a right answer about karma, afterlife and the use of burnt paper money. Pragmatically wise, Ching Ming Festival gives every culturally Chinese a chance to take time off from our busy life to mourn for the dead, or maybe for some to point fingers at those who don't. I don't agree some who suggest that praying for the dead is a kind of idolization. Paying respect to someone you love in any ways you're comfortable with is fine with me. Even if you don't, I'm fine too. Because I'm guilty of missing the festival since 3 years ago.